Every morning, just before I fully awaken, a relentless stream of tasks starts scrolling through my mind. It begins with the essential duties of parenting: lifting the crying toddler from the crib, changing diapers, pouring my first cup of coffee, and making breakfast for the boys. Don’t forget to put on pants. Drink more coffee.
As I prepare for the school day, my mental checklist expands: brushing teeth, packing lunches, and signing permission slips. Interspersed are reminders to myself: shower or at least wash my face, pop in my contacts, and make sure I eat something. Once the children are off to school, a new list emerges: clean the kitchen, dress myself, and prepare for the workday at home. Even while I’m trying to concentrate on my job, reminders keep creeping in: buy rain boots for my older son, plan dinner, and donate bags of items to charity.
At times, I wish I could silence my thoughts or at least quiet the incessant to-do list that feels like a nagging alarm ringing in my head. I catch myself muttering: pack a snack, call the doctor for flu shots, don’t forget deodorant, and even rotate the tires. Did I confirm that meeting? What’s for dinner tonight? Is it time to eat yet?
While some individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder or anxiety grapple with intrusive thoughts, my to-do list feels like an ever-present burden. The list is perpetually incomplete; there are always items waiting for my attention. If I were to chat with St. Peter, I’d need to quickly jot down “get to Heaven” and then follow up with “research restaurants in Heaven.”
Even during my attempts to unwind—like reading a book in the evening instead of tackling chores—the to-do list remains perched on my shoulder. I can tell myself to relax because I’m reading, but a persistent feeling looms that any moment spent on myself only adds to what awaits me tomorrow.
Is This the Reality of Motherhood?
Will the to-do list ever diminish? Weekends begin with a new list of tasks (like the ongoing project of clearing out the home office for better productivity) and conclude with just as many items lingering to be addressed.
While I may feel my family is slow and inefficient, it seems that many others share this burden of overwhelming tasks. The reality is that there’s simply too much to manage for the two adults in our household. This often results in postponing non-urgent repairs and still wearing maternity clothes two years after giving birth because finding time for shopping feels impossible. The influx of children’s clothing is another ongoing challenge, requiring constant management every few months as they grow. Meal planning and preparation often feels like an endless cycle, even with the best time-saving hacks available (which, ironically, is another task on my list: “learn efficient cooking methods”).
Perhaps in the future, things will improve—when my children are older and require less of my constant attention. Maybe one day I’ll find the time to work effectively in my home office. Maybe someday I’ll manage to turn off this relentless to-do list.
Resources for Navigating Parenthood
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In summary, the relentless to-do list can often feel overwhelming for parents, leading to a constant battle between responsibilities and self-care. While it may seem unmanageable now, there is hope for a future where the list becomes less daunting.