Recently, I came across a quote shared by a notable author that said, “Embrace the glorious mess that you are.” Embracing life’s chaos is something I wholeheartedly support. Anyone who knows me would agree. Life’s messes often stem from our children, but they can also arise from our own actions or simply appear unexpectedly. While I accept that mess is a part of life, I take issue with the extended commentary that followed this quote, which suggested that balance is something to be rejected.
The author argued that for many women, balance equates to perfection, and I agree—it’s crucial to distinguish between the two concepts. However, balance is essential. It is about maintaining an even distribution of responsibilities that allows us to remain steady and upright. Whether as parents or individuals without children, we all strive for stability in our lives.
It’s not uncommon to lose our balance temporarily, whether due to unforeseen circumstances or challenges that push us off course. Yet, the desire to regain that equilibrium is universal. One issue many women face is conflating balance with the idea of doing everything. This is simply unattainable.
The author mentioned a simplified list of actions—eating, praying, and loving—that helped her navigate her way to balance. While these are valuable pursuits, they are just the beginning. To cultivate a truly balanced life, we must also prioritize exercise, work commitments, family time, friendships, and leisure activities.
Creating balance necessitates making choices. For example, if you allocate time for exercise, you might need to compromise on sleep. Similarly, time spent with children could mean less time for your partner. The challenge lies in ensuring the significant aspects of your life are consistently represented on both sides of the balance scale.
As we attempt to juggle our obligations, we often overlook essential tasks like housework, cooking, or even personal projects. It’s crucial to recognize our limitations and accept that we cannot do it all. When life throws a curveball—be it a health issue, job loss, or even a minor mishap like a spilled drink—it’s vital to adjust our expectations.
When unexpected demands arise, we should not feel compelled to overcompensate by adding more tasks to our already full plates. Instead, we should consider which obligations we can temporarily set aside. For instance, if you had planned to bake a birthday cake from scratch, it might be more practical to buy one this year. Your children will likely appreciate the gesture regardless.
Recognizing that you cannot do everything while maintaining your sanity is essential. Life will have moments of effortless balance, but disruptions are inevitable. To regain stability, reassess your priorities and make adjustments as necessary. If you’re faced with an unexpected challenge, consider seeking assistance.
Many elite performers, like gymnasts, rely on spotters for support, especially during challenging routines. This notion applies to life as well; seeking help does not signify weakness but rather a proactive approach to maintaining balance. Your spotter could be a friend, a therapist, or a colleague—whatever support system allows you to regain your footing.
Ultimately, achieving balance involves understanding what matters most and being willing to ask for the help you need to maintain that balance.
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In summary, achieving balance in parenting and life requires acknowledgement of our limitations, willingness to prioritize, and the courage to seek help when necessary.