As someone who has always thrived during the night, my body’s internal clock runs about three hours later than what is typically expected in the professional world. I generally settle down for sleep around 2 a.m. and rise around 10 a.m. In my pre-parenthood days, I managed to adapt by seeking out jobs that started later. However, children are not equipped for late starts. I know I’m not alone in this predicament; I’ve shared many late-night chats with other parents who, before children, had never experienced the early morning hours of 7 a.m. Below are 18 insights that late-night parents can relate to.
- If you’re fortunate, you paired up with an early riser, allowing you to divide the nighttime duties—the night owl handles the last feed, while the early bird takes on the first.
- If you’re not so lucky, you might find yourself with another night owl. You’ll both be wide awake at 2 a.m., exchanging irritated remarks like, “You should be the one to get up in the morning!”
- You may invest a small fortune, around $9,000, in safety-proofing your living space, transforming it into a padded environment where you can nap on the couch while your baby plays at 6 a.m. You’ll catch a few minutes of sleep—until they decide to stick a Lego in your mouth. Worth it? Definitely.
- “Just go to sleep!” you tell yourself as you scroll through the Internet at 2 a.m., with your kids long since asleep.
- Yet, the late-night hours can be blissful. You enjoy the solitude, the world feels full of possibilities, and you can connect with friends far away or dive into comforting reruns of classic shows.
- When it’s your partner’s turn to enjoy a sleep-in, and they request coffee in bed, there’s a good chance you’ll spill some of the lukewarm brew on them as you pass it over.
- You might find yourself playing “would you rather” with your own mind: Would it be better to be woken three times a night but then sleep until 8 a.m., or enjoy a solid eight hours and rise at 5:30? The answer is moot—who can realistically sleep at 9:30?
- School starts far too early.
- You often wonder how some mothers appear so composed with their styled hair and fresh faces. Where are their yoga pants and flip-flops?
- When faced with a parent-teacher conference sign-up that has slots from 7:05 a.m. to 8:10 a.m., you find yourself scribbling, “LOL WHO CARES!?” on the sheet.
- After an overdue night out with old friends, you return home at 2 a.m., thinking, “Why don’t I do this more often? It’s so refreshing!”—until the piercing wail for breakfast jolts you awake.
- When it’s your partner’s turn to handle the baby but they remain oblivious to her cries, requiring you to nudge them awake, well, that could be a dealbreaker.
- The most challenging mornings occur when the noise of the children wakes you up when you’re not on duty.
- You become fixated on whose turn it is to get up.
- You daydream about having your own space where you can wake at your leisure, ideally accompanied by a sufficient amount of coffee. It doesn’t even need to be far—perhaps just a mother-in-law suite or a small room where no one can place snacks on your face while you’re sleeping. Honestly, even a closet with a mattress made of an inflatable inner tube sounds appealing for a little morning solitude.
- You understand that being unexpectedly stirred in the morning feels like a peaceful fish in a sunny stream, suddenly yanked out into a chaotic, cold, and noisy world.
- You find yourself crafting various metaphors to describe the feeling of being woken too early.
- You contemplate how young is too young for a child to prepare their own breakfast. Five? Six? If they accidentally hurt themselves, well, kids heal quickly, right?
At this point, my sleep patterns are all over the place—I occasionally wake before my kids, even though I don’t want to. But this can’t last forever, right? Eventually, they’ll dress themselves and get ready for school. Then, I’ll likely need to find a job, ideally one that allows for a later start.
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Summary
Night owl parents navigate the challenges of early parenthood while juggling their late-night tendencies. From dividing nighttime duties with partners to dreaming of peaceful mornings, these insights capture the unique experience of parenting while staying awake when the rest of the world is asleep.