In a recent conversation, a friend of mine, Jessica, shared an enjoyable evening she had with her husband. They started their night sipping cocktails at a rooftop venue, soaking in the sunset. Following that, they rented bikes and rode along the river to a different restaurant for dinner. Upon returning home, she expressed, “It was such a refreshing experience. We haven’t done anything so spontaneous in years.”
This made me reflect on my own relationship with my partner, Tom. Often, we operate like the executives of a small business, managing daily tasks to keep our household running smoothly. While our children are thriving, and our bills are paid, the joy and spontaneity we once shared seem to have diminished. Time spent together often comes with a sense of guilt, as each moment away from the kids feels like a missed opportunity. Additionally, there’s the financial aspect to consider. However, the most significant barrier is the ever-growing list of responsibilities: scheduling flu shots, shopping for school supplies, filing taxes—the list goes on. It becomes challenging to switch off that mental checklist and prioritize enjoying each other’s company as we once did.
Lately, I’ve come to realize that rekindling this joy is essential, not only for our relationship but also for our children. When choosing a partner, we typically look for shared values, intelligence, and humor—these are the foundational elements of a strong relationship. However, the “mortar” that holds everything together is fun. A marriage lacking in shared joy can easily become a mere partnership of convenience.
Much like Jessica, I fear that too much time has passed since Tom and I engaged in playful activities. It’s been a while since we’ve shared a hearty laugh or tried something novel together. Parenting often leads us to play it safe, constantly anticipating the next meal, outfit change, or chore. Yet, if we don’t occasionally pause and recall what made us fall in love, we risk becoming mere collaborators in a well-oiled machine. This is not a sustainable way to live.
So, it’s time to add to my to-do list: Find enjoyable activities to do with Tom. Just kidding. I already have ideas: cocktails at a rooftop bar, a bike ride, and dinner. Maybe we’ll even end the evening with a poker game in Las Vegas.
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In summary, prioritizing fun and spontaneity with your partner is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. By taking time to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company, you not only strengthen your bond but also create a positive environment for your children.