Today marks the final day of waking up solo. It’s the last morning I’ll be balancing on one foot while trying to prevent my overly curious ten-month-old from exploring the toilet. It’s the last time I’ll prepare breakfast for my three-year-old while nursing my teething infant. This evening will be the last time I sit on the edge of my bed, head in my hands, overwhelmed by the multitude of minor stresses that have led to tears of frustration and fatigue. Tomorrow, my husband returns home.
As a military spouse, you quickly adapt to challenges you never anticipated—like dealing with a lost phone connection amidst an important conversation that spirals from annoyance to anxiety. It often requires reaching out to family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors to maintain your sanity during these extended absences.
This time apart has undoubtedly been the most challenging period for our family, stretching us in ways we didn’t expect yet ultimately making us more resilient.
Lesson 1: Accept Help and Set Aside Your Pride
You may find that offers of assistance come your way more often than you’d expect. Resist the urge to dismiss them. Your pride is not worth the toll on your mental health. Be specific about what help you need; people can’t assist if they don’t know how.
Lesson 2: Acknowledge Your Limitations
You won’t be able to accomplish everything on your to-do list. I had to let go of certain expectations and accept compromises. Yes, my children watched more screen time than I would typically allow and yes, fast food became a frequent choice. Sometimes, you have to prioritize survival over ideals.
Lesson 3: Understand Mutual Struggles
Both partners experience hardship, but in different ways. During sleepless nights filled with teething and tantrums, I found myself resenting my husband’s uninterrupted sleep. However, he too was missing out—missing milestones like first words and crawls. His absence weighed heavily on him just as my daily challenges weighed on me.
Lesson 4: Embrace Vulnerability
This experience leaves you both emotionally exposed. Sensitivity runs high, and even small disagreements can escalate quickly. It’s important to recognize this vulnerability as part of the journey; it’s okay to feel overwhelmed.
Lesson 5: Expect the Unexpected
When it rains, it pours. Challenges seem to come in waves, whether it’s health issues, home repairs, or job transitions.
Lesson 6: Discover Your Own Strength
The most valuable advice I received before this journey was not that it would fly by or that I would be okay, but rather that I would learn just how capable I truly am. I found strength in my ability to persevere, even on the hardest days.
While I hope to never face another deployment, I recognize that the lessons learned during this time are invaluable. For those enduring similar separations, know that you are not alone. A simple act of kindness, such as a supportive word or gesture, can mean the world.
So here’s to families navigating this challenging experience day by day, minute by minute. I wouldn’t wish for a repeat, but I can say that my family has grown stronger through it all.
For more information on these topics, consider reading our post on home insemination techniques or check out Make a Mom for their expert insights. Additionally, the CDC provides excellent resources regarding fertility and pregnancy.