Updated: July 14, 2023
Originally Published: September 4, 2020
“Just don’t be one of those parents who neglects their children while pursuing personal interests,” were the final words from a potential babysitter for my two children. She was an experienced caregiver, boasting a wealth of knowledge from raising her own children and grandchildren. Her home exuded warmth with the aroma of a home-cooked meal. I nearly hired her until she shared her unsolicited perspective on parenting.
Like many new parents, I was inundated with advice, do’s and don’ts, and often uninformed opinions the moment I shared my pregnancy news. I typically deflected these comments with a smile or a simple “thank you.” However, I refuse to apologize for my belief in the importance of carving out time for myself.
I am the parent who enrolls my toddler in part-time daycare so I can enjoy moments of solitude with my infant. While I could argue that this arrangement is beneficial for his development (which it is), the reality is that I genuinely need a break.
I am the parent who drops the children off at a relative’s house to attend a live concert. If I claimed that I only do this for performances I’m passionate about, I would be misleading you. Sometimes, I simply attend events to escape the confines of my home environment.
I am the parent who takes a Saturday afternoon for coffee with friends, often extending into a leisurely lunch filled with engaging conversations. I could rationalize that my children are enjoying quality time with their other parent, which they are. But honestly, I relish the opportunity to socialize and unwind with other adults.
I am the parent who occasionally leaves the kids with a neighbor to run some errands. By “errands,” I mean indulging in a massage and a well-deserved eyebrow wax. I recognize that my baby might be crying and my toddler throwing a tantrum, but self-care is essential.
I am also the parent who makes reservations at a premium restaurant for a Friday night out with my spouse. I am fully aware that the kids may be snacking on less-than-ideal food and enjoying late-night movies with our teenage babysitter. While I could pretend to be concerned about their late bedtime, the truth is, I prioritize my relationship as well.
To the babysitter who cautioned against becoming “one of those” parents, I must inform you: I already am. I make intentional choices to step away from my children for my own well-being. These moments of separation create necessary breathing room; they affirm that while I am a parent, I am also an individual with personal needs that deserve attention.
I firmly believe that making myself a priority is not just acceptable, but essential.
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In summary, taking time for oneself as a parent is crucial for maintaining a healthy balance between personal needs and family responsibilities. Prioritizing self-care leads to better well-being for both parents and children.