This is what motherhood means to me.
It may not align with your experience, and it certainly doesn’t resemble the idealized version we often encounter in commercials, social media, or society at large.
As mothers, we are bombarded with messages about what it means to nurture a child, how mothering should look, and, to a degree, what emotions should accompany motherhood. These deeply rooted expectations can be so pervasive that they often go unnoticed—except when we feel out of sync with the narrative.
On one side, we elevate mothers to a near-sacred status. Yet, paradoxically, we impose unrealistic and unhealthy standards, leading to judgment and shame when they inevitably fall short.
I’ll admit it: I often breathe a sigh of relief when Mother’s Day concludes. The buildup—along with the day itself—brings forth a surge of idealized notions about motherhood.
Mother’s Day can be a complex occasion, much like motherhood itself. While I’m grateful for my wonderful mother, I recognize that many have challenging relationships with their parents. Some mothers are estranged from their children, while others are mourning the loss of their own mothers or grappling with the heartache of losing a child. There are those longing for motherhood and mothers trudging through the tumultuous journey of parenting, struggling to find their footing.
Yes, many enjoy loving relationships and cherish their Mother’s Day celebrations. However, the glossy images and saccharine quotes fail to capture the intricate and often messy reality of motherhood.
I often reflect on my first Mother’s Day, when postpartum depression clouded my joy, making me wish to disappear instead of celebrating. I remember another Mother’s Day when I fell asleep on the couch, exhausted and emotionally drained after experiencing a miscarriage. And there were countless holidays when I found myself caught in the limbo of infertility treatments.
Motherhood is not simply a fairytale; it is complex, and for many, Mother’s Day can be a poignant reminder of what is missing.
Over the nearly ten years I’ve spent as a mother, I’ve come to understand that the shimmering portrayals of motherhood—especially those celebrated on Mother’s Day—don’t resonate with my experience. And that’s perfectly okay because motherhood appears, feels, and signifies something different for everyone.
This candid snapshot of me and my kids squeezed into our minivan on the way to school is what motherhood embodies for me. There are no brunches or beach outings, no picture-perfect moments shared with hashtags. Just me, my boys, and the beautiful chaos of our everyday lives together. This is motherhood—my version.
When my kids look back on their childhood, I doubt they’ll recall a mother dressed in fancy attire at a brunch. Instead, they’ll remember a slightly frazzled mom in yoga pants, navigating life’s messiness. They’ll cherish the moments of laughter and disagreements that unfold during our drives to school, sporting events, and birthday parties. They’ll remember my parting words as they hop out of the car: “Be kind!” and how they eagerly share who they were kind to when they return.
This is how they will view motherhood with me as their guide.
And when I reflect on these years, I won’t focus on gifts, cards, or grand outings. I’ll remember the paper hearts my youngest plastered around the house for me. I’ll recall how my eldest asks, “Didn’t you want to know who I was kind to today?” if I forget to ask him. I will treasure all those rides, filled with stories and laughter.
Motherhood is distinctive for everyone. It’s complicated, often messy, but undeniably beautiful—truly stunning. Not just on Mother’s Day, but every single day.
For further reading on the complexities of motherhood, check out this insightful article on Intracervical Insemination. If you’re considering starting or expanding your family, take a look at this reputable online retailer for at-home insemination syringe kits. Additionally, Science Daily provides excellent resources on fertility and pregnancy.
Summary
Motherhood is a unique experience for everyone, filled with complexities and challenges that vary from person to person. While societal ideals often paint an unrealistic picture of motherhood, the true beauty lies in the everyday moments shared with our children. Real-life experiences, like school runs and heartfelt conversations, define what motherhood truly is.
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