Parenting Insights
Today, I encountered a profound realization: my maternal superpowers, the invaluable skills I once wielded to dispel imaginary monsters lurking beneath beds, prevent toddlers from transforming entire rooms with diaper cream, or stop a child from using their sibling’s head as a battering ram, seem to be diminishing as my children age, now 16, 13, and 10.
Admittedly, there were moments when my powers faltered. For instance, I failed to notice when my then three-year-old, Jamie, decided to decorate our cream-colored carpet with a red Sharpie, or when my ten-year-old, Alex, thought it prudent to engrave the names of famous bands onto his new dresser. However, even iconic heroes like Superman and Wonder Woman experience their off days. As long as my children were healthy and safe, I felt a semblance of control.
A few years back, I began to sense a shift in my capabilities; my children started questioning my efficiency in snack preparation. They voiced opinions on the routes I navigated in our family vehicle to get them to their activities, suggesting they had more effective alternatives. I calmly reminded them that I am a mother, not a genie or servant, and encouraged them to prepare their own snacks. I also emphasized that the driver gets to choose the route—if they preferred a different approach, they were welcome to decline the ride.
In secret, I contemplated enhancing my maternal powers to include speed and a greater reservoir of patience. I reminisced about the days when every action I took for my children felt magical and flawless. Yet, I found joy in their growth and increased independence.
However, there came a time when I could no longer provide answers to all their questions. Queries like why grandfathers age and transition to assisted-living facilities, or why illness and loss exist, presented challenges my powers could not address. I learned that some truths were beyond a mother’s explanation. My role shifted to that of a listener, assuring them of their safety, even when I struggled to believe it myself. While I may not eliminate their pain, I strive to alleviate it in any way I can.
Now, two of my children have surpassed my height, and I can no longer lift my youngest to carry him to bed should he doze off while watching TV. My eldest is contemplating college, and in just over a year, he will be able to legally sign documents and vote. Each passing day, he moves further beyond the reach of my maternal influence.
As I reflect on the journey ahead for him and my other children as they mature into adulthood in what can be a wonderful yet daunting world, I sometimes wish to freeze time. I find myself longing for the days when a simple kiss could mend their scrapes or chase away their nightmares with just my presence.
It finally dawned on me today: I am not losing my superpowers; rather, I am willingly passing them on. Sometimes it is a gentle act of love, while other times, my children must wrestle them away. These special powers were never mine to keep.
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In summary, as children grow and become more independent, parents may feel as though they are relinquishing their powers. However, this transition is a natural part of parenting, allowing children to develop their own strengths and resilience while parents adapt to new roles.