Updated: December 20, 2023
Originally Published: August 16, 2023
My optimistic nature often leads me into trouble, particularly when I misjudge my child’s ability to remain quiet during a 45-minute conference call. This miscalculation frequently occurs during the summer months, after school, or on one of the seemingly endless early-release days. Despite my kids being perfectly still for hours, the moment I begin a work call, chaos ensues. My son decides to whip up a grilled cheese sandwich, triggering the smoke alarm, while a handful of extra kids appear at our doorstep. Not to mention, my daughter can turn a minor hangnail into an Oscar-worthy performance.
As a result, I often find myself taking calls in rather unconventional settings—thankfully, most clients prefer voice calls over video. Here are a few of the most unusual places I’ve found myself during important discussions:
1. The Closet
When all else fails, I retreat to the closet. With three locked doors between me and my children, it provides a temporary sound barrier. If it gets truly desperate, I can hide behind winter coats for added insulation against noise. This strategy has proven effective on numerous occasions.
2. The Backyard
Sometimes the closet feels a bit too far, and the ruckus from my children escalates. In these instances, I escape to the backyard, walking until the sounds of hide-and-seek fade. Admittedly, my neighbors have given me strange looks while I pace through the woods, engaged in a phone call. One memorable instance had me braving 20-degree weather—without shoes—while trying to lead a teleseminar for 60 participants, all while my dogs barked at non-existent threats on the porch.
3. Popular Attractions
This strategy certainly contradicts my goal of spending quality time with my children. Yet, when we take a day off and chaos ensues, I often find a relatively quiet spot at places like Disney World or the local zoo to make a quick call. However, I inevitably forget about the loudspeaker announcements, like “Polar bear feeding in five minutes!” that disrupt my attempts at professionalism.
4. The Car
There are two scenarios here: One where I am driving and must take a work call. I’ve taught my kids to go silent upon hearing the words “work call,” which generally works well. However, it’s the other scenario that proves problematic. Sitting in the car alone, I decide to call back a colleague, only to be interrupted by my son bursting in after soccer practice, announcing his stomach issues to a conference call of ten people. I often wonder if my coworkers ever guessed who provided the comedic relief for the following months.
5. The Woods at a Playground
At a fifth-grade graduation picnic, I found myself on a call with a potential client I had pursued for months. As I walked away from the noise, I encountered a snake. Though I knew it was harmless, my squeal prompted the client to inquire about my well-being. I quickly blamed it on static and finished the call standing atop a bench, keeping an eye out for any snake companions. The result? I landed the client—score one for me!
For more insights into the world of home insemination, consider checking out this post. You can also find valuable information on artificial insemination at Make a Mom, and for a comprehensive guide, visit NHS.
In summary, juggling work and parenting is a challenging endeavor, often leading to calls taken in unexpected and amusing locations. While my optimism frequently backfires, it also makes for entertaining stories and memorable experiences.