As parents prepare to send their children off to college, many will engage in crucial conversations with their daughters about navigating sexual assault on campus, self-defense strategies, and appropriate actions to take in the event of an attack. Given the alarming statistics surrounding sexual violence in higher education, it is essential for parents to have these discussions with their teenage daughters. However, David L. Carter, a physician specializing in adolescent health, highlights that college can also pose significant sexual vulnerabilities for male students.
In a thought-provoking article for Pacific Standard, Carter points out that while male-on-male sexual assault is well-documented, female-on-male sexual assault receives less attention. The 2013 National Crime Victimization Survey revealed that 38 percent of reported sexual violence incidents involved male victims, with women accounting for 46 percent of these assaults. The underreporting of sexual assaults against men is primarily fueled by the cultural stereotype that “real men” are always eager for sex. Carter notes that 3 to 4 percent of young men he encounters indicate that their first sexual experience occurred before the age of 10. Disturbingly, many of these incidents are not framed as traumatic by the young men themselves. He also shares that older boys, aged 12 to college age, have reported experiences of unwanted sexual advances from girls, including waking up to find a girl attempting to perform oral sex on them.
Carter emphasizes the confusion this creates for young men, who are often conditioned to believe that “real men” should always be ready for sex. This belief can turn sexual encounters into a misguided badge of honor, and those who express hesitation or refusal may face derogatory labels, which can further contribute to the underreporting of sexual assaults among boys and young men.
While society has made significant strides in raising awareness about sexual assault against women and girls, we often overlook the vulnerabilities of boys. The misconception that boys are always interested in sex, combined with their generally larger physical stature, leads many to dismiss the possibility that they can be victims of sexual violence.
As a mother of sons, I recognize my responsibility to educate them about personal boundaries and consent—that no one should touch them inappropriately, and that they have the right to express discomfort, whether through verbal communication or physical cues. As they transition into their teenage years, it is crucial to broaden the scope of these discussions to include their own sexual boundaries, strategies for deflecting unwanted advances, and the importance of reporting any incidents of assault.
Carter acknowledges that while the prevalence of sexual assault among boys is not as extensive as it is for girls, there is a pressing need for further research to understand the true scope of the problem. Educating young men about their rights and responsibilities regarding their bodies and sexual experiences is vital. The persistent myth that “real men” are always interested in sex needs to be challenged and dismantled.
For further insights on this topic, you may find this article on home insemination kit helpful, as well as Make a Mom, a trusted resource on insemination. Additionally, the CDC provides excellent information for those navigating pregnancy and related topics.
In summary, it is imperative to recognize the vulnerabilities of boys regarding sexual assault and to challenge the cultural narratives that hinder open discussions about consent and boundaries. Parents should strive to educate their sons about these issues just as they do their daughters, fostering a safer environment for all.