The newborn phase is often romanticized by experienced mothers, leaving new moms feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. Let’s be honest: having your first baby is no easy feat. In the midst of sleepless nights, postpartum emotions, and the physical challenges of recovery, you may find yourself longing for an escape. If you’re open to some guidance (without the urge to punch me), here’s what I wish I had known when I became a mother for the first time:
This is the most challenging phase.
For the first time in your life, you will need to consistently prioritize another person’s needs above your own. The responsibility of caring for a newborn can be daunting, forcing you to confront feelings of selfishness you didn’t know you had. This is indeed the hardest part—especially when you’re sleep-deprived and juggling multiple bodily functions. Remember, you don’t hate your baby; you’re simply navigating the complexities of motherhood. Kudos to you for not running away from it all!
Your body is not the focus.
In the age of social media, it may seem like everyone is scrutinizing your choices, but trust me: no one is genuinely concerned about how you feed your baby, be it breastfeeding or bottle-feeding. If anyone dares to criticize you, channel your feelings into advocating for your rights as a mother.
Cluster feeding is a phase.
If you choose to feed on demand, expect some marathon nursing sessions that could last hours. You may go days without a shower, but take comfort in knowing this phase is temporary.
Always be prepared with extra clothing.
Bodily fluids are part of the territory in motherhood, so having a change of clothes (or three) on hand is essential. You will eventually come to terms with the fact that you will be covered in messes, but it’s all part of the journey.
Trust your instincts.
If something feels off with your baby, it probably is. There’s no such thing as colic; if your baby is crying excessively, take the initiative to find out what’s wrong. For instance, I once thought my baby disliked me, only to discover he was suffering from severe reflux. Listen to your intuition.
Accept offers of help.
It can be difficult to accept help, but it’s crucial. Embrace any offers of meals or assistance with chores. Accepting help doesn’t mean you owe anyone anything; it’s just part of the support system.
You set the boundaries.
Ultimately, your baby is yours. You have the right to dictate who holds them. While friends and family may want to share in the joy, don’t hesitate to reclaim your baby when you feel it’s necessary. Assert your preferences; it’s your baby, your rules.
Savor the moments.
Take time to relax, cuddle your baby, and enjoy this fleeting period. Life will return to normal soon enough, so prioritize bonding over chores. By the time I reached my third child, I fully embraced the luxury of doing very little besides snuggling and enjoying those precious moments.
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In summary, the newborn stage is challenging yet filled with opportunities for growth and connection. Embrace the chaos, trust your journey, and remember that it’s perfectly normal to seek help and prioritize your well-being.