As my 8-year-old daughter, Lily, played catch with her father, a passing man remarked on her impressive skills. Though it wasn’t clear if his compliment was tinged with surprise due to her gender, it certainly seemed to imply that her talent was unexpected for a girl. I was taken aback when my husband responded, “Yeah, she has two brothers.” This remark struck a nerve, highlighting the problematic notion that Lily’s abilities were somehow tied to her siblings, rather than her own practice and determination.
Growing up, I experienced a different set of expectations compared to my brother. I was often cautioned by my parents about dangers that seemed to be overlooked when it came to him. As I matured, I became acutely aware of the inequalities in our society—specifically, the wage gaps and the everyday objectification women face. Reflecting on my childhood, I realized I had internalized the idea that my worth was often linked to my appearance rather than my achievements. While I recognized the subtle inequities around me, they did not initially galvanize me into action; I was not a Gloria Steinem in my youth.
However, becoming a mother to a daughter shifted my perspective dramatically. I acknowledge that I might inadvertently be more protective of Lily than of her brother, Max. This is an honest admission, and I intend to empower her to pursue interests in any field—be it arts, sciences, or athletics. I will teach her to respond confidently to any backhanded compliments she may receive, reminding her that she can simply say “thank you” or “I’ve been practicing,” without feeling the need to justify her talents.
It is true that growing up with brothers can provide advantages in honing certain skills, but not every boy enjoys sports, and not every girl is drawn to traditional feminine activities. Each child’s interests and abilities are unique and should not be overshadowed by family dynamics. I firmly believe that Lily’s capability to throw and catch a football stems from her dedication and practice, not from her brothers.
Labels can often feel burdensome, but if recognizing and teaching these lessons to my kind-hearted, strong, and intelligent daughter falls under the umbrella of feminism, I embrace it wholeheartedly. In today’s society, it is crucial to foster an environment where our children can thrive without the constraints of gender expectations.
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In summary, my daughter has inspired me to challenge societal norms and advocate for equality. Embracing the lessons of feminism ensures that she will grow up empowered, confident, and ready to face the world on her own terms.