According to my child’s birth certificate, I officially became a parent in 2010. However, the transition to being an actual parent took a bit longer—I’d argue it only happened last week.
When we envision parenthood, our thoughts often drift to significant life events: picking a name, assembling a crib, navigating labor, changing diapers, playing catch, learning to ride a bike, the first day of school, and so on. While these milestones are indeed important, they pale in comparison to the myriad small, yet impactful moments that arise daily. Every milestone is significant: the first burp, the first smile, the first solid stool, the first rollover, the first sit-up, the first crawl, the first fall, the first steps, the first words…
Eventually, as you scroll through social media filled with photos, you come to realize that these aren’t your milestones; they belong to your child. What defines your journey as a parent consists of different milestones—less visible, yet equally crucial. Here are five indicators that signify your evolution from a mere caregiver to a true parent.
Five Signs You’ve Embraced Parenthood
- The Mess Factor
After my child was born, my partner and I took him to a friend’s home for New Year’s Eve. Amidst lively discussions about pop culture, I found myself needing to change my son’s diaper. During this familiar task, I accidentally got some feces on my thumb. It wasn’t the first time this happened, and I merely continued with the task, wiped my hands, grabbed a drink, and quickly moved on. When you stop being fazed by such messes, you’re entering the realm of true parenthood. - Parental Panic
Infants often run fevers, and while it can be concerning, it’s usually a normal part of their development. However, when your first child experiences their first fever, it feels like an emergency. That overwhelming worry that engulfs you—fueled by the realization that this little being is now your utmost priority—marks a significant shift in your mindset. Once you experience that initial panic—whether it’s due to a fever, a crying spree, or concerns about allergies—it becomes a constant companion. This intense concern is part of what it means to be a parent. - The Bragging Rights
Every parent does it. Your child becomes the focal point of your life, and it’s natural to feel pride in their achievements. Even if you promised yourself you wouldn’t be “that” parent, you might find yourself sharing the most trivial accomplishments. “You won’t believe how big of a mess my child made today!” When you catch someone zoning out as you share yet another cute picture, you’ll realize you’ve crossed into the territory of proud parenthood. - The Judger
Yes, even those of us who write about parenting can find ourselves judging others. Despite understanding that every child and parent is unique, it’s human nature to compare and feel your approach is superior. Once you begin to think you have the answers—no matter how limited your experience—you transition further into parenthood. Acknowledging that you don’t have it all figured out? That’s when you truly start becoming a good parent. - “Because I Said So!”
This was my definitive moment. I had become a full-fledged parent when I instinctively told my child to clean up his toys, and when he asked why, I replied with the classic, “Because I said so!” At that moment, I realized I had fully embraced the role of authority. This marks a significant transition from merely being a caretaker to taking on the responsibilities that come with parenting.
As children grow, their development is an ongoing series of milestones. Parenting, however, is more about accumulating experiences rather than achieving specific skills. It’s not the first diaper change that makes you a parent; it’s the countless times you handle it afterward. Navigating the challenges of parenting is a gradual process, akin to building a cage for yourself. If you’re fortunate, by the time your child reaches college, you may finally gain some freedom.
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Summary:
Transitioning into parenthood encompasses a range of experiences, from accepting the messes that come with caring for a child to feeling an overwhelming sense of responsibility. The journey is marked by everyday moments that may not be glamorous but are integral to your growth as a parent. As you navigate through milestones both big and small, the true essence of parenthood emerges.