Over the past couple of days, I found myself critically assessing another mother’s choices. I realize that judgment isn’t productive, yet I can’t help but reflect on the choices made by this mom. Here’s a glimpse into her parenting style:
She opted for a cesarean delivery and transitioned her children away from breastfeeding at an early stage. For snacks, she has been known to give her toddlers donuts right before nap time. Yes, donuts. Additionally, she serves them apple juice right before bed, which raises eyebrows.
On one occasion, she reacted harshly when her son spilled her coffee, and she still gives her one-year-old a bottle. To add to that, her three-year-old remains in diapers. I’ve witnessed her children running off outside multiple times, while she chased after them, dropping the contents of her purse and tripping over her yoga pants—an outfit she seems to wear daily.
Her personal hygiene isn’t the most consistent; she occasionally skips showering. I noticed her sneaking peanut butter M&Ms in the kitchen while her one-year-old threw a fit. She often lets her kids “cry it out”—except on days when she doesn’t, which makes me wonder why she can’t choose a consistent method.
In almost every photo she shares on social media, her kids are often without clothes. She confines them to a Super Play Yard, which some might argue resembles baby jail. I once saw her children scatter Cheerios across the floor and then eat them right off the ground. She openly bribes her kids with cookies in public settings and once dozed off on the couch while her children were in front of the TV, surrounded by Cheerios in their makeshift play area.
At the grocery store, her son kept standing up in the cart, while her other son attempted to open a bottle of shampoo—presumably wanting to drink it. During meals, her oldest son cries about having to eat unless she happens to be serving donuts. She consumes Diet Coke daily, and her living space often appears chaotic, furnished with mismatched DIY decor.
Despite her claims of wanting to start a workout routine or diet, her figure hasn’t shown much change. Her clothing is quite plain, and she could use a haircut. Punctuality seems to elude her family, and her one-year-old occasionally wakes up at night, taking ages to settle down again. She often expresses a longing for alone time, which raises questions; after all, she is a Stay-at-Home Mom and ostensibly enjoys a lifestyle of relaxation in yoga pants. Isn’t her life supposed to be a break?
Reflecting on this mother’s choices, I realize that this mom is actually me. Lately, I have become so preoccupied with others’ opinions about my parenting that I’ve been retreating from social situations. The fear of temper tantrums, disobedience, or my own breakdown has kept me from enjoying outings with my kids. I often keep my parenting decisions private, anticipating disapproval or unsolicited advice from others. I won’t allow my partner to post pictures of our family if the scene isn’t tidy or if my youngest is seen with a bottle. My life has been overshadowed by concern over others’ judgments, detracting from the enjoyment I should be experiencing.
Moving forward, my new mantra is: WHO CARES!? Criticism from others often stems from their own insecurities, as they know they have their own imperfections. While some advice may come from a caring place, I’m learning to listen without becoming defensive, even if I choose not to follow it.
I may not be perfect, but I know I am a GOOD mom. So, let the critics analyze my parenting style; I’ve even made it easier for them by compiling this list.
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Summary:
In a moment of self-reflection, I realized that the mother I’ve been harshly judging is actually myself. Despite my perceived shortcomings—such as inconsistent parenting methods and a chaotic household—I am learning to embrace my imperfections and prioritize my happiness over others’ opinions.