Despite holding three degrees in psychology and counseling, I find myself lacking the one qualification that many parents look for when seeking advice: personal experience as a parent. Friends and acquaintances frequently approach me for guidance with their personal dilemmas. It seems I have an innate ability to listen, coupled with a knack for analysis, making me well-suited for a career in counseling.
Over a decade ago, I committed to this field, focusing on the complexities of child and adolescent psychology, interpersonal dynamics, and substance use issues. I gravitated toward preteens and teenagers—an age group that most of my peers tended to shy away from due to its inherent challenges. However, I thrive on difficult situations.
As an adolescent counselor, I spent years working with a diverse range of youth, from preteens to college athletes. I co-led process groups, taught essential life skills, and facilitated personal development activities. Through a school-based prevention program funded by a local university, my supervisor and I reached over 300 students annually, collaborating with educators and parents to help at-risk youth realize their potential. This experience earned me considerable respect among my professional colleagues.
Yet, when it comes to parents, my expertise seems to fall on deaf ears. Despite my extensive experience and academic qualifications, the first question they invariably ask is, “Do you have children?” Upon learning that I do not, my insights are often dismissed. It appears that, in their eyes, theoretical knowledge is insufficient without practical experience as a parent.
I can empathize with this perspective. For instance, I would be skeptical of a dog trainer’s advice if they didn’t own pets themselves. Similarly, even those in recovery from addiction often prefer counselors who have lived through their struggles. Firsthand experience, it seems, holds significant weight in the realm of advice.
In retrospect, perhaps I should have pursued a career in pet psychology—yes, that’s a real field. However, at 43, I am not looking to embark on another degree or have children merely to gain credibility as a parenting expert. Instead, I will continue to utilize my writing and educational background to share my knowledge, hoping that readers recognize that while I may not have children, I have been a child once. Surviving that experience carries its own insights and lessons.
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In summary, while my lack of personal parenting experience may limit my credibility among some parents, my professional background and understanding of adolescent behavior offer valuable perspectives that can aid in navigating the complexities of parenting.