Mom Brain: 8 Memories I Never Want to Lose

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It’s a well-known truth that motherhood comes with its fair share of memory lapses. The notorious “mom brain” often leads us to forget the pain of childbirth, the endless nights of wakefulness, and those less-than-pleasant postpartum experiences. If we truly remembered every detail, it’s safe to say that most of us wouldn’t consider having more than one child. Luckily, nature equipped us with a kind of selective amnesia, allowing us to push aside the more traumatic aspects of parenting. Believe me, I’m quite thankful for having (mostly) forgotten the embarrassment of an accidental public incident involving my bladder. More than once.

Both my partner and I are relieved that I’ve seemingly erased the vivid recollections of the times I considered pillow smothering him during sleepless nights with a wailing baby. And I can only hope that the emotional chaos that awaits during the teenage years fades into the background as well. Our minds have a finite capacity for memories, so we must be judicious about what we hold onto. Here are eight precious moments I hope my increasingly selective memory retains:

1. The Quirky Expressions of My Kids
   When my oldest was little, he coined the most delightful terms for animals. To him, gorillas were “gee-gas,” and rabbits were “hop-hops.” No one should forget the side-splitting moments when toddlers accidentally swear, like when they spot a fire truck and exclaim “fire f***!”
2. The Peaceful Sight of Sleeping Children
   There’s something magical about the way their cherubic faces look during sleep. Whether it’s the blissful serenity of their REM expressions or the utter relief of momentary peace, watching my kids sleep is like being enveloped in pure joy. In a world that can often feel chaotic, I want to remember that comforting sensation.
3. The Experience of Being Home with a Crying Baby
   It was a challenging and isolating experience. Although I sometimes wish to erase those feelings from my mind, the memories of being home alone with a newborn drive me to reach out to new mothers, even if I detest phone conversations.
4. The Sweat and Anxiety of Public Tantrums
   Because empathy.
5. My Partner’s Expression Holding Our Sons
   Despite the chaos of childbirth, I will never forget the look on my partner’s face when he first held our boys. That moment was priceless, even if I’d prefer to forget the doctor’s comment about blood loss.
6. The Celebratory Dances After Bedtime
   There are few parenthood victories sweeter than the silence that follows when the kids are finally in bed. That feeling of triumph is fleeting but oh-so-sweet.
7. My Parenting Blunders
   When my son was just 4 months old, I somehow locked myself out of the house with him inside. At 6 months, he toppled out of his Bumbo seat onto the table and then the floor. By 18 months, he took a tumble down the stairs. Call them what you will—these are just accidents. Remembering these mishaps keeps us from becoming those self-righteous parents who complicate the journey for everyone else.
8. My Parenting Triumphs
   Too often, our victories get overshadowed by the chaos of parenting. There have been countless nights when I drifted off to sleep reflecting on my blunders, while the successes slipped away unnoticed. But it’s no small feat to endure a 30-minute tale about Minecraft without dozing off or to teach a child to tie their shoes without a string of expletives. Remembering these wins can be the difference between sanity and a bottle of wine.

Memories inevitably fade, and that’s not always a bad thing. After all, who wouldn’t want to forget those less-than-stellar moments, like the infamous Poopgate 2014? As I often walk into a room only to forget my purpose, I’d say my recollection of Poopgate might just fade with time. Yet, I hope it doesn’t, because someday—perhaps not anytime soon—it’ll surely become a hilarious anecdote.

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In summary, while motherhood may cloud our memories with chaos, it’s the cherished moments and the valuable lessons learned that we should strive to keep close to our hearts.