“You’ll regret those when you’re older,” my mother remarked sternly, shaking her head as she turned away. This was her response after I excitedly revealed my first tattoo upon returning from a solo journey across Europe at 22. It was a vibrant butterfly, adorned in orange, yellow, and red, resting cheerfully on my sun-kissed right shoulder.
“What about your career?” she called from the kitchen.
“I don’t plan to be a traditional professional!” I shot back, tossing my large backpack onto the floor and slipping off my sandals.
Interestingly, my mother wasn’t entirely incorrect; I did work as a lawyer for several years. However, my joyful tattoo never interfered with any legal proceedings or arguments. To me, that butterfly serves as a lasting symbol of a transformative chapter in my life—a reminder of the adventurous, independent spirit that journeyed alone across various countries, responding to the whispers of her instincts.
During that time, I felt like I was truly discovering myself. I could spend days in solitude or forge new friendships with strangers met in bustling city squares. Most importantly, I learned to cherish my own company as I navigated through charming cities like Bruges, indulged in local delicacies in Bergen, and inhaled the fragrant tulips of Amsterdam—where I got my butterfly tattoo, by the way, while completely sober (for that brief moment!).
Reflecting on those backpacking days at 22 fills me with joy; they represent a version of myself I want to keep close forever, embodied in that small winged figure on my shoulder. Though the tattoo has faded over time, its spirit remains vibrant, greeting me every morning as I dry off after my shower.
“Hello, adventurous self,” I whisper to my now 44-year-old self. “Let’s make the most of today.” And I can confidently say I have never regretted that tattoo.
My second tattoo came shortly before my wedding at age 30. My husband, Jake, and I decided to give each other tattoos as wedding gifts. (“Why not just stick to jewelry?” my mother asked.) We tied the knot just two months after the September 11 attacks, a time filled with deep emotions, which influenced our decisions about both our wedding and tattoos. I chose another butterfly, this one decorated with stars and stripes, located on my left hip (and yes, it was painful!).
It’s common to hear warnings about getting tattoos to symbolize relationships due to their permanence. Relationships, unfortunately, can change. After ten years, my marriage ended in divorce. Yet, I have never regretted this tattoo either. I view it without sorrow or regret. My divorce, while challenging, was amicable, and Jake and I maintain a respectful friendship. Most importantly, we have a wonderful nine-year-old son, whom we co-parent collaboratively. I respect Jake immensely and hold no regrets about our marriage or the tattoo that commemorates our time together.
This second tattoo also serves as a reminder of the unity and resilience our nation exhibited during a difficult time. I felt an immense sense of pride in being an American in the aftermath of 9/11. Ironically, my first tattoo symbolizes my pride in my individual journey, while the second reflects my pride in my homeland. Now, at 44, I still proudly display both tattoos, and I’m happy to report they have not succumbed to wrinkles!
Many individuals, including my mother, are hesitant about tattoos due to their permanence. However, this is precisely why I appreciate mine. In a world where so much is transient, my butterflies are constants. I may not know the whereabouts of my photo albums from my travels or wedding, and I can’t predict future travels or relationships. But I do know with certainty that my butterflies will always remain with me.
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In summary, my tattoos represent profound experiences and memories that I cherish deeply. They are reminders of who I was, and who I continue to be, affirming my identity in a world of constant change.