Navigating the Two Types of Perfection in Parenting

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It’s around 3:30 AM, and sleep is eluding me. I think I managed to doze off while standing beside the crib, my 6-month-old gripping my finger with a fierce determination that both kept him calm and left me rooted at his side. I can’t blame him; after all, it’s a small comfort to know that he’s finally asleep.

I remember my own childhood well. My mother often told me that one day, I would pay for the sleepless nights I put her through. I chuckle now, realizing that my firstborn was an excellent sleeper, but with my second, I am indeed facing my payback. As the stillness of the night envelops me, I find myself reflecting on my own struggles.

As a child, I battled intense anxiety, which began with bedwetting. I dreaded going to sleep, terrified of waking up in a soaked bed. The walk to my parents’ room remains etched in my memory; I can still picture them, asleep in the dark, deliberating over who would respond to my timid knock. Just as I thought I had everything under control, my parents’ separation introduced new emotional challenges.

Shyness and sensitivity defined my early years, shaping my identity and affecting my relationships, even into my marriage. I often felt as if my true self was silenced, only to resurface when I became a parent. The insecurities and fears I thought I had overcome collided with a new worry: “Am I going to mess this up?” I wish I could have a conversation with my younger self, assuring her that everything would be alright. It makes me ponder the challenges my own children will face as they grow.

I wish I could guarantee that my boys will grow into secure, confident individuals, but the reality is that every person faces their own unique struggles. Often, those who appear to have it all together have fought their own battles to reach that point.

Initially, the thought of my children facing difficulties fills me with dread. Just in the next room, my little one is trying out underwear for the first time instead of a pull-up. Yet, reflecting on my childhood, I realize I never thought of myself as struggling; I was simply navigating life. When faced with obstacles, we adapt, overcome, and push forward.

One day, my children will do the same, often without even realizing it—just as I am continuing to grow. Growth is a natural part of life; we learn from each experience and apply those lessons moving forward. Just as a gardener adjusts the spacing of seeds after their first planting, we too change with each iteration of our lives.

So, as I pen down these thoughts, I want my boys to know that mistakes are an integral part of life. I won’t regret my missteps, but I will regret if they fail to see that these little imperfections may define their own unique brand of perfection.

“There are two kinds of perfect: The one you can never achieve, and the other, by just being yourself.” – Lauren King

For those interested in exploring more relatable parenting experiences, check out this insightful piece on Modern Family Blog. And if you’re considering at-home insemination options, Make a Mom offers reputable products to help you on your journey. For a comprehensive guide on intrauterine insemination, visit the Cleveland Clinic’s excellent resource on IUI.

In summary, parenting is a journey filled with challenges and opportunities for growth. Embracing our imperfections allows us to raise resilient children who will navigate their own paths with confidence.


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