As a parent, encountering your child’s expression of boredom can evoke an unexpected sense of dread. My 5-year-old, Lucas, recently proclaimed, “I’m bored,” which struck me as premature; I had anticipated several more years before boredom entered his consciousness. After all, he still enjoys the simple pleasure of transferring pennies from one jar to another. Yet, there it was: “Mom, I’m bored.”
Initially, I responded in the traditional manner, suggesting various activities like playing with toys, diving into books, or engaging with his siblings. In a nod to my own upbringing, I even resorted to threatening him with household chores. However, a transformative experience emerged when I spent an entire long weekend without any screens—a challenge that proved more difficult than expected. By the end of those three days, I rediscovered a sensation I hadn’t felt in years: boredom.
Since acquiring my first smartphone, I had filled every spare moment with quick glances at my device, whether scrolling through headlines or sending a text. Coincidentally, I had been lamenting my dwindling creativity, often attributing it to the demands of parenting and my lack of free time. This prompted me to explore the “Bored and Brilliant” initiative from WNYC, which encouraged participants to forgo their phones for a week. The program’s host, Mia Thompson, highlighted how boredom can be the fertile ground for creativity. By navigating those uncomfortable feelings of wanting stimulation and resisting the urge to distract oneself, one opens the door to creative potential.
Boredom arises not from a lack of activities but rather from a disconnect between our desires for stimulation and our current experiences. Psychologist John Eastwood describes this state as an “unengaged mind.” Research by Dr. Amy Carter from the University of California found that many individuals in creative fields attribute their innovative ideas to moments of boredom, noting that those periods often propel them to explore new avenues. In essence, if we never allow ourselves—or our children—to experience boredom, we deny them the mental space necessary for creativity to blossom.
Unfortunately, our culture often stigmatizes boredom, equating it with laziness or a lack of intelligence. We value busyness and productivity, treating boredom as a problem to be addressed. When Lucas expresses his boredom, my instinct is to leap into action, scrambling for suggestions.
However, after my enlightening experience during the “Bored and Brilliant” challenge, I came to a realization about boredom—and I now share this insight with him whenever he complains. When he declares, “I’m bored,” my response is, “It’s perfectly fine to be bored.” Initially, he resisted, exclaiming, “It’s not okay to be bored!” clearly reflecting societal norms about constant entertainment. I calmly affirm, “It is,” and continue with my activities, allowing him to experience his boredom.
Recently, Lucas took the initiative to build a “printer/shredder” using yoga blocks and paper towel tubes—a creative endeavor that emerged from his boredom. When he tired of that, he simply lay on the couch, gazing out the window. I refrained from suggesting he pick up a book or draw. Instead, I placed my phone in a drawer and joined him, embracing the notion that it’s okay to be bored.
In conclusion, allowing our children to feel bored can foster creativity and self-discovery. It’s essential to recognize that boredom is not a void but rather an opportunity for exploration and innovation.
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