Tips for Navigating an Indoor Playground in 6 Simple Steps

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Living in the Deep South means enduring extreme heat and high humidity, making outdoor activities less than enjoyable for at least half the year. While I don’t mind the heat in suitable environments—like beaches or spas—experiencing sweat trickling down my face or feeling my thighs stick together is not my idea of fun. Additionally, I cringe at the thought of a sweat-soaked child landing in dirt.

As a result, I’ve become well-acquainted with every indoor playground within a 20-mile radius, visiting them regularly. However, be warned: indoor playgrounds come with their own set of challenges. While the climate is more bearable, the environment can still be quite unpleasant. For instance, you might stumble upon a soiled diaper near the inflatable ball pit.

Here are six essential tips to help you survive the often germ-laden and chaotic world of indoor playgrounds:

  1. Claim Your Territory: Indoor playgrounds can get crowded quickly, so finding a good spot to sit is crucial. Look for a seat close to an outlet and restrooms. Ideally, you’ll want to be within earshot of your children—or not, depending on your tolerance for noise!
  2. Bring a Companion: You might consider going solo since the confined space minimizes the chance of your child wandering off. However, having someone to chat with makes the experience more enjoyable. Plus, they can keep an eye on your little one while you take a break.
  3. Consider a Discreet Beverage: Don’t judge—sometimes a little liquid courage can make a chaotic situation more bearable. Pour your drink into an inconspicuous container, hide it in your oversized bag, and maintain a low profile.
  4. Leave Your Dignity Behind: Accept that you, your kids, or both might embarrass yourselves. Whether it’s a loud comment from your child or an unfortunate incident involving spilled snacks, being prepared for anything will help reduce your embarrassment.
  5. Be Ready for Anything: From unexpected messes to sudden hunger pangs, prepare for the worst. Whether it’s a bout of nausea or a tantrum, being mentally equipped for surprises will help you manage the chaos.
  6. What Happens in the Playground Stays in the Playground: Did you have an embarrassing moment? Did your deodorant give out? It happens to everyone. Indoor playgrounds can be overwhelming, but once you leave, you can forget about the chaos and enjoy the quiet of your tired kids.

And remember—never touch that abandoned diaper.

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Summary

Indoor playgrounds can be chaotic and overwhelming, but with the right strategies, you can navigate them successfully. Ensure you claim your spot, bring a friend, and be prepared for whatever may come your way. Embrace the madness, and remember that what happens there stays there.

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