Today was, by all measures, an entirely typical day. We experience countless days like this—ordinary, unremarkable moments devoid of significant events, grand celebrations, or monumental successes. Yet, have you ever reflected on the fact that these seemingly mundane days constitute the bulk of our lives? It isn’t the extraordinary moments or remarkable achievements that shape our existence; rather, it is the everyday occurrences that linger in our memories. As John Lennon famously stated, “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.” I believe life unfolds in the midst of our ordinary days.
However, the constant barrage of messages we receive—through advertisements, social media updates, and perfectly curated images—seems to glorify the extraordinary. It’s no wonder many of us feel inadequate, as though we are falling short in our pursuit of greatness.
We encourage our children to chase their dreams, to aim for the stars. We remind them of their kindness, intelligence, and bravery, which is essential. But in our efforts to instill ambition and courage, are we neglecting to teach them the value of appreciating the ordinary? In our focus on audacious aspirations, are we overlooking the importance of nurturing the quiet, yet profound moments in life? Are we prioritizing moments of grandeur at the cost of a life rich in goodness?
Fortunately, children seem naturally inclined to find joy in the everyday and to recognize the significance of simple acts of kindness. My youngest child, Liam, beams with pride when someone admires the healthy snacks he selects at the grocery store. He feels a profound sense of accomplishment when he can lift his friend’s spirits or make them laugh.
Recently, Liam confided in my partner about difficulties he was having with a classmate. We discussed how sometimes kids may feel upset and need a friend. We brainstormed ways he could help his peer feel better, ultimately deciding that he should try being extra nice the following day at school. The next day, as I waited on the playground after school, I noticed something different. Instead of his usual slow walk filled with playfulness, Liam dashed over, exclaiming, “Guess what?! I was really nice to that boy, and he was nice to me too!” This was a remarkable moment for him, one that he felt compelled to share immediately. It was a far cry from the typical updates about grades or sports achievements; this was about being brave and kind, and it felt extraordinary to him.
While children often dream of remarkable careers—becoming astronauts or famous actors—they genuinely seek reassurance that the softer aspirations—like being a good friend, showing love, and striving to do the right thing—are valuable and sufficient.
Reflecting on my own childhood, I had aspirations of becoming a mother and nurturing a happy family. While I had a few grand dreams, my deepest desires revolved around maintaining strong familial bonds, creating a nurturing home, and enjoying simple moments like coloring with my children or baking cookies with my partner.
Now that I find myself living these dreams, I sometimes grapple with feelings of inadequacy. I often convince myself that I need to accomplish more or be better. A nagging voice tells me I’ve dropped one of the many responsibilities I juggle—family, work, friendships—and that I am somehow falling short.
I know I am not alone; many compassionate parents and dedicated individuals lead fulfilling lives while still feeling insufficient, as if they are lagging behind in their pursuit of extraordinary achievements.
This leads me to ponder how we can encourage our children to pursue their grand ambitions while also fostering an appreciation for the quieter moments. How can we guide them to reach for the stars while instilling a sense of contentment and satisfaction in the present? How do we help them avoid the pervasive feeling of never being enough that so many adults experience?
I believe the journey begins with us. We must learn to embrace our own quiet dreams while respecting our loftier aspirations. It’s crucial to celebrate our efforts to love fully, to act bravely, and to try hard, regardless of the outcomes. We need to practice self-kindness, prioritize relationships, and recognize the many ways we are doing well as parents, partners, and friends. Treating every day as unique and special can help us realize that we are indeed enough.
William Martin’s well-known poem, which begins with “Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives,” concludes with the reminder to “make the ordinary come alive for them.” This philosophy resonates with my approach to parenting. The experiences that stem from kindness and authenticity often yield extraordinary outcomes.
As parents, we all harbor dreams for our children. I want my kids to aim high, but I also want them to find joy and fulfillment in their daily lives. I hope they learn the importance of friendship and love, the value of hard work, and the beauty of simple moments. I want them to appreciate the power of stillness, a handwritten note, or a warm embrace. Most importantly, I want them to rest their heads at night with the thought: Today was special. Today, I loved and was loved. Today, I truly lived. Today was extraordinary.
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Summary:
This article emphasizes the importance of teaching children to appreciate the ordinary moments in life while still striving for their dreams. It acknowledges the tendency to glorify extraordinary achievements and encourages fostering a sense of contentment and gratitude for everyday experiences. By nurturing both grand aspirations and quiet joys, we can help children grow into well-rounded individuals who recognize the value of kindness and love in their lives.