Parenting
The Evolution into an Experienced Mother
by Harper Lane
Updated: Feb. 20, 2016
Originally Published: Sep. 26, 2010
Occasionally, I find myself feeling adventurous and decide to take my two children, aged 3 and 8 months, out for an evening outing. However, this is often not the best decision, as it coincides with their fussy time. Just yesterday, as we returned from the mall during rush hour, chaos erupted the moment we entered the car. The volume of their screams from the backseat was astonishing—almost comical. I found myself laughing, and in that moment, I sensed a shift within me.
A realization dawned on me: I may be transitioning from a novice mom to a more seasoned parent. The mere ability to contemplate this amidst the cacophony of my children’s cries felt revealing. I reflected on how my perspectives and reactions towards motherhood have matured since the arrival of my second child.
For one, my panic levels have significantly decreased. When my youngest wakes up from his nap, I no longer rush to his crib in a frenzy, fearing he might tumble out. Instead, I calmly finish what I was doing before attending to him.
I have also grown more at ease with crying. It has become clear to me that crying is a natural and essential part of childhood, and is not nearly as traumatic as it once seemed. I even allow my 8-month-old to cry for a bit while falling asleep—something I would never have considered doing with my first child.
Moreover, I have learned to accept conflict as a normal aspect of parenting. Initially, I struggled to set boundaries for my firstborn, fearing I would stifle his curiosity or diminish his spirit. Now, I recognize that establishing limits is vital for safety and overall well-being, and encountering regular conflict indicates that I am fulfilling my role as a parent.
I have also let go of the obsession with perfection. I used to be meticulous about my children’s diets, striving to eliminate processed foods and preservatives, even while breastfeeding. Now, I aim for a balanced approach to living—healthy but without extremes. The same goes for sunblock and bug spray; I simply apply what’s necessary and move on.
Additionally, I give my children more independence. Where I once felt compelled to constantly engage and entertain them, I now encourage them to explore their own worlds and find ways to amuse themselves.
My trust in others has also grown, making me more open to accepting help. With my first child, I was overly cautious about who could hold him, worrying about germs and neck support. Now, I readily pass my baby to anyone willing to help, appreciating those moments to recharge, even using childcare services at gyms. I can now kiss my little one goodbye without the anxiety that once consumed me.
Crucially, I have learned to prioritize not just my children’s well-being but my own. My love for them is no longer measured by constant worry.
As I approached my exit, feeling confident in my evolution as a mother, we suddenly hit a traffic jam. The screaming resumed, and I felt my composure beginning to falter. It was then that I remembered something essential: crackers in the center console! The presence of those snacks reaffirmed my belief in my transformation. Clearly, I wouldn’t keep snacks in the car if I weren’t a seasoned mom. I even felt comfortable tossing a few to my baby.
The crackers worked wonders, and we managed to get home with minimal distress. In the midst of chaos, I found laughter instead of panic. I understood everything would be alright, even if it sounded like we were facing a small crisis.
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Summary
This article reflects on the transition from a novice to a seasoned mother, highlighting how experiences with parenting evolve over time. It emphasizes the importance of embracing imperfection, allowing for independence among children, and recognizing the value of self-care as a mother. The journey to becoming a more confident and relaxed parent is illustrated through relatable anecdotes and insights.