Even by the relaxed parenting standards of the 1970s, my childhood was particularly permissive. My mother believed in a hands-off approach to raising children, opting for freedom over constant supervision. There were no set bedtimes; we simply fell asleep whenever exhaustion hit. Each of us had our own televisions in our rooms, which meant I learned about relationships far too early from shows like The Love Boat.
When it came to the concept of quitting, my mother didn’t offer grand speeches or motivational quotes. For instance, my older brother disliked summer camp and chose to spend his time engrossed in Dungeons & Dragons and arcade games instead. If I ever felt discontented with an after-school activity, her advice was straightforward: “If you don’t enjoy it, just quit.”
And that’s exactly what I did. I stepped away from gymnastics, pottery, and musical theater. I left Hebrew school, ice skating classes, and even my high school track team. I wasn’t sure what I truly wanted, but I was learning what didn’t resonate with me. I continued to take her advice into adulthood, quitting 12 jobs that didn’t feel right until I finally found one that did.
Recently, however, when my own daughter, Emma, expressed the desire to quit ballet after five years, I instinctively told her, “You’re not a quitter.” This wasn’t a lesson I learned from my mother.
“Why can’t I quit?” she asked, and I found myself reflecting on my discomfort. I realized it stemmed from the financial and time investments we had made. But perhaps my desire for her to persist was more about my expectations than her feelings. Modern parenting often emphasizes the importance of achievement, leading us to believe our children must be “winners” who never quit.
But do they really need to be winners? This thought nagged at me. Vince Lombardi, revered as one of the greatest NFL coaches, famously said, “Winners never quit and quitters never win.” Yet, he was also known for his abusive behavior toward his family. Is there a connection?
My children may not always be champions, but they will grow up with a strong sense of self-worth. A close friend recently pointed out, “Why do we put so much pressure on our kids? Just look at us.” She was right. I’m an average parent, not a Nobel Prize winner or a CEO.
Sure, figures like Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs are celebrated for their perseverance. But consider Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympian. His mother enrolled him in swimming lessons at seven to help channel his energy, leading to his extraordinary success. If she had chosen art or music instead, he might have quit those pursuits.
I came to understand that if Emma didn’t quit ballet now, she could lose valuable time that could be spent exploring her true passions. Perhaps my mother was onto something: we should pursue what brings us joy. The best advice she ever gave me remains, “If you don’t love it, quit.”
For more insights on parenting and personal growth, check out this article on home insemination. Also, if you’re considering self-insemination options, BabyMaker offers a comprehensive guide on home kits. For those exploring fertility treatments, Hopkins Medicine is an excellent resource.
In conclusion, teaching children to chase their happiness and recognize when to walk away from activities that don’t serve them may be one of the most valuable lessons we can impart as parents.