Parenting is an intricate journey, and one quote that resonates deeply with me states, “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” This notion often leads to feelings of guilt and self-doubt regarding my parenting style. I must confess, there are moments when I doubt whether I want my child’s inner dialogue to echo my own.
As a human being, I am inherently flawed. When faced with stress, my temper can flare, often leading me to raise my voice. I am still in the process of cultivating a positive inner voice for myself, and I sometimes find myself longing for the calm demeanor exhibited by other parents. How do those serene moms manage to maintain their composure during chaotic evenings filled with homework, chores, and bedtime routines? I, on the other hand, find myself slipping and yelling.
It often begins with something as trivial as socks. “PLEASE GET YOUR SOCKS OUT OF THE PLAYROOM!” I might shout, bewildered by how one child could manage to wear so many pairs in a single day. When my requests go unheard, my frustration escalates, and my voice rises. Although the yelling seems to yield results—albeit with a tinge of shame—it’s not the approach I wish to adopt.
I’ve tried to embody the ideals of the “Calm Parent” community, a group that offers strategies for maintaining tranquility in the face of parenting challenges. However, my attempts have often resulted in failure, leading me to feel as though these calm, composed parents are characters from a fairy tale, distant from my reality. I aspire to be the kind of parent who can handle conflicts with grace and poise, but I frequently fall short of that ideal.
After nearly a decade of striving to keep my temper in check, I sometimes feel like I’m failing my children. I worry about the impact my outbursts might have on their developing inner voices. However, I take solace in knowing that many of us carry scars from our own childhood experiences, shaped by family dynamics and societal pressures. It’s a challenge to protect our children from the negative influences that can shape their self-perception.
One valuable lesson I hope to impart to my children is the importance of unconditional love and forgiveness. Amidst my parenting missteps, I’ve seen evidence that my daughter, Lily, is learning these values. A parent recently shared that Lily’s kindness has made a significant difference to another child in her preschool class who was facing bullying. This shows that despite my shortcomings, Lily is developing a healthy understanding of empathy and compassion.
So, while I admire those calm, whispering parents, I accept that I may not fit that mold. I will continue to navigate the ups and downs of parenting, even if it means raising my voice occasionally to motivate and guide my children.
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In summary, parenting is a complex journey filled with challenges and triumphs. While I sometimes resort to yelling, I strive to teach my children valuable life lessons about love and forgiveness. I recognize that my approach may not align with the calm ideals of some parents, but I am committed to fostering a nurturing environment for my children.