As a parent, I’ve found myself developing peculiar habits that my pre-baby self would have found completely absurd. Despite attempting various coping mechanisms—like self-hypnosis, journaling, and even indulging in chocolate—nothing seems to diminish my peculiar motherly tendencies. Here are some of the most relatable habits:
- Engaging in discussions about my child’s bodily fluids with anyone willing to listen, even the friendly grocery store clerk.
- Using animated voices well beyond the age where it is developmentally appropriate for my child.
- Making exaggerated movements and sounds to coax a smile for photos.
- Buying colorful plastic toys simply because they are on sale.
- Frequenting the Dollar Store for those irresistible bargains.
- Suffering from T.M.S.S. (Too Much Stuff Schlepping): “I need diapers, wipes, a changing pad, extra clothes, books, toys, the tablet, snacks, and water. Oh, and hair ties for good measure.”
- Watching reality shows that somehow validate my parenting choices.
- Enjoying a glass of wine while catching up on Bravo (or both).
- Relying on coffee—lots of it—to fuel my day.
- Sneaking in a whiff of my child’s head when they aren’t paying attention, because it’s just too tempting.
- Searching for hidden innuendos in Disney movies, whether my child is present or not.
- Embracing online shopping over the hassle of taking kids to the store.
- Diving into tie-dye and other crafts that entertain my little ones for mere moments, but keep me engaged.
- Getting lost in mom blogs, which offer both solace and a sense of community.
- Reading negative comments on those blogs, bonding with fellow moms over shared frustrations.
- Extracting juicy details from my single friends about their dating lives, all while being thankful I’m past that stage.
- Repeating conversations about bodily fluids (yes, it deserves another mention).
- Scrolling through Pinterest for craft ideas that might never come to fruition.
- Internally comparing my parenting style to others, for better or worse.
- Wiping food off my child’s face and inadvertently tasting it, only to realize too late, “That wasn’t chocolate.”
- Frequenting Target for everything from groceries to household essentials.
- Planning birthday parties that start simple and spiral into extravagant affairs.
- Oversleeping? Just kidding, that’s a luxury long gone.
- Sharing my birth story with anyone who will listen, especially expectant mothers.
- Swaying side to side in a rhythmic motion, reminiscent of rocking a baby to sleep.
- Consulting WebMD for minor parenting concerns, even when it’s likely unnecessary.
- Using saliva to clean my child’s face, despite having baby wipes readily available.
- sneaking dessert in the bathroom to avoid sharing.
- Adding “ie” to various words: “Baby want some egg-ies?” or “Can mommy have a hug-ie?”
- Indulging in macaroni and cheese, quesadillas, and grilled cheese, to the dismay of my waistline.
Fortunately, these quirks are balanced by my unwavering love for my child, delighting in their laughter, and providing comfort when they are upset. In conclusion, all of these behaviors reflect the unique experiences of motherhood, often filled with humor and a touch of chaos.
For more insights on navigating parenting and home insemination, check out this informative post. You can also visit Make a Mom for excellent resources on fertility and home insemination techniques. Moreover, Rmany offers invaluable information on pregnancy and related topics.