In a local parenting group I participate in, members frequently share articles that offer valuable insights or provoke thought. Recently, I came across a piece from the Denver Metro Parenting Blog focused on the prevention of child abuse. While I wholeheartedly support the idea of safeguarding children, I have reservations about displaying explicit “body safety rules” prominently in the home.
The article, entitled “Why We Don’t Keep Secrets In Our Family,” is authored by caring parent, Sarah Johnson, who aims to foster a safe environment for her children. She recounts an incident where a friend attempted to entice her son with a cookie by suggesting it was a secret that he shouldn’t share with his mother. Her son replied, “We don’t keep secrets in our family; we have surprises.” This distinction is crucial, as secrets often imply something harmful, while surprises are temporary and innocent.
This approach is commendable, especially considering that abusers frequently manipulate children by framing the abuse as a “secret” that cannot be disclosed. Encouraging children to seek help from trusted adults is vital. However, I question the wisdom of having a list of rules about body safety displayed in a space where children see it daily.
The guidelines themselves are sensible and clearly articulated. However, do we want our children to be constantly reminded of potential threats and the inappropriate fascination some individuals may have with their bodies? And what about visiting children or other guests? As Johnson mentions, having these rules visible can prompt conversations about sexual abuse prevention, which can range from awkward to essential. Yet, I wonder if this discomfort is necessary.
I personally prefer not to have my children preoccupied with the notion of sexual abuse on a daily basis. We strive to arm them with the skills to navigate dangerous situations without fostering an atmosphere of constant vigilance. If I were another parent, I would also prefer my children not to be reminded of such issues during playdates. Surely, we can teach children about safety and danger without making them live in fear.
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In summary, while it is crucial to educate children about safety and the potential dangers they may face, it is equally important to do so in a way that does not instill fear or anxiety. By fostering open communication and encouraging children to share their concerns, we can equip them with the necessary tools to protect themselves without overwhelming them with the darker aspects of life.