As a woman, both before and after motherhood, I have experienced the complexities of female identity. My journey began as a tomboy, awkwardly transitioning to experimenting with makeup, notably the elusive cat eye, which I never quite mastered. In the professional world, I quickly learned that being a woman often comes with unexpected challenges and disappointments, regardless of how far we believe society has progressed.
Writing about raising daughters has led me down various avenues, from critiquing the phrase “Real Women” to expressing outrage over the trivialization of violence against women and sexual abuse. I have voiced my concerns regarding the unhealthy emphasis on weight and appearance that can overshadow their self-worth.
Recently, the #ImNoAngel campaign created a significant rift among women. With stunning photography and beautiful models, Lane Bryant aimed to challenge the idealized notion of the Victoria’s Secret Angels and to “redefine sexy.” While I understand the sentiment, having felt inadequate while passing by those airbrushed displays in stores, I believe the solution should not be to strip “sexy” from anyone. Shouldn’t we instead strive to empower all women to embrace their own version of sexy? After all, our understanding of what makes us feel attractive will inevitably evolve.
The #ImNoAngel movement, which I find intriguing as someone in the advertising field, seems to ignite yet another debate about who is the superior woman. The campaign’s binary positioning fosters a competitive environment regarding femininity and authenticity. I exist in the space between “angel” and “not”—never quite fitting into a single category. I revel in the feeling of desirability, yet I value the multifaceted nature of my identity even more.
I am intelligent. Tall. Bilingual. Humorous. Creative. Curvy yet strong. Delicate yet resilient.
We live in a culture where sex and scandal drive media engagement. The need for brands like Lane Bryant to adopt provocative strategies to gain attention is understandable, yet it feels as if they are dragging us into a conflict we didn’t initiate. I hope for a future where our choices and financial support lead to media representations that reflect the diversity of women.
I want my three daughters—each uniquely shaped and drawn to different interests—to feel acknowledged and valued. My wish is for them to avoid comparisons based on appearance or femininity. I envision clothing designed to fit the broad shoulders and long torso of my middle child, edgy patterns for my adventurous firstborn, and durable fabrics for my youngest, who embraces an athletic lifestyle. It’s crucial to recognize that our shapes and styles do not define our worth as women.
None of us is an angel. We are simply women, and we are remarkable.
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In summary, as we raise our daughters, it is vital to instill in them the understanding that their worth is not tied to societal standards of beauty or femininity. Empowering them to embrace their unique identities will help foster a generation of confident, multi-dimensional women.