As our children grew older, the possibilities that once seemed distant from our youthful days became increasingly attainable. We could spontaneously head out for dinners and happy hours, leaving our teenagers in charge—a freedom we hadn’t enjoyed since we were too young to legally partake in happy hours. Additionally, it became much simpler to leave the kids with family members for weekend getaways.
Approaching our mid-30s, each outing was accompanied by a mix of wonder and self-doubt: “Can you believe we’re finally doing this?” and “Are we too old for this?” Questions like, “Am I too old to dance until closing time? Too old to enjoy hip-hop? Too old to wear a short dress? Too old to have this much fun?” swirled in my mind.
I recall a night out in Las Vegas at 4 a.m. when I was 34. My partner, Alex, remarked, “We should relish this while we can; we won’t be doing this at 40.” I agreed, thinking that age limit was perhaps overly cautious. Yet, now firmly in my late 30s and approaching my 40s, those once-clear boundaries seem increasingly irrelevant.
A few weeks ago, Alex and I took a short trip to Las Vegas, where we attended a concert at the chic rooftop pool of the Cosmopolitan Hotel. We dressed up, arrived early, and found a prime viewing spot. As if by some cosmic coincidence, a group of 20-somethings appeared, dressed similarly in casual attire, reminding me of a flock of birds responding to a signal I could no longer perceive. Initially awkward in my little black dress, I decided to embrace the moment and have as much fun as possible. We danced, sang, and enjoyed overpriced drinks before heading home early for a good night’s rest.
In my late 30s, I’ve finally recognized the law of diminishing returns. Recently, my two closest friends, Mia and Laura, and I embarked on a weekend getaway. Together, we have 10 children and had never spent more than a night away. To celebrate Laura’s birthday, we booked affordable flights to Florida, planning to stay with my mother-in-law in a retirement community by the Gulf.
In preparation, we dubbed our trip the DGAF (don’t give a f***) weekend. Whether it was swimsuit confidence or shoe choices, we decided to let go of our worries. However, while at an ocean-side tiki bar, we watched octogenarians dance with unrestrained joy, and our bravado wavered. “These folks could teach us a thing or two about DGAF,” Mia said.
We are progressing, though. Previously, I focused on those younger than me in social settings, questioning whether I’d crossed into a territory deemed unacceptable. Now, I find myself inspired by those ten years older, reveling in their enjoyment without concern for judgment. I tell myself, I can embody that same confidence.
While there may be actions or styles that seem inappropriate for a 37-year-old, I’ve long since stopped engaging in those. At events like the Vegas concert, I no longer attempt to blend in with the younger crowd. Instead, I’ve accepted my place and the freedoms that come with age.
Aging isn’t solely about the limitations; it’s also about embracing new possibilities. I can wear comfortable boots instead of painful stilettos, allowing for ease and confidence. I can travel with financial security. I can choose to party hard or go to bed early without regret. Ultimately, my only constraints are my body, my mindset, and how much I let others’ opinions affect me.
In the past four to five years, I’ve packed in countless joyful experiences and have no intention of slowing down. I’ve grown more relaxed about my so-called “expiration date.” I understand that opportunities to stay out late or dance will always be around—whether I’m 40, 60, or rocking a bikini at 80.
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In summary, age should not dictate the fun you have or the experiences you embrace. With the right mindset, you can continue to enjoy life regardless of the number.