Occasionally, everyone deserves a night of revelry, especially parents. However, as any parent can attest, enjoying a few too many drinks comes with its own set of challenges. The responsibility of caring for another human being becomes significantly harder after a night out. While comparing stages of grief to the experience of a hangover may seem extreme, I found myself navigating similar phases after a recent outing with friends.
The Stages of Parenting After a Night of Indulgence:
- Denial: This stage hits hard. You slowly pry one bloodshot eye open and are met with panic: it’s Saturday, and calling in sick isn’t an option. Your children have invaded your bed. You naively believe that a couple of pain relievers and a fizzy drink will remedy the situation. Surely it’s not that bad, right? Then you turn your head too quickly, feel a wave of nausea, and wish for the floor to swallow you whole—though if you live in an area without sinkholes, you realize that isn’t happening.
- Embarrassment: This feeling can swiftly follow denial when your eldest child asks why you’re clutching a half-eaten burrito from a fast-food joint. It’s best to redirect attention and insist they get back to their homework. “But it’s Saturday,” they remind you. DAMN YOU, SATURDAY!
- Anger: It’s crucial to escape this phase quickly. While contemplating the myriad of ways to take revenge on the bartender who may have over-served you, remember she is not the real culprit. The Lego piece you just stepped on didn’t position itself there intentionally. And blaming your children for your choices in the first place is futile.
- Bargaining: Engaging in negotiations with children is often a lost cause, especially when you can barely articulate coherent thoughts. Be aware that kids can sense weakness, and they may test boundaries during this phase. When they do, they might just score a candy bar for breakfast. No lasting harm has come from this, and that candy bar can afford you some much-needed time to recover on the couch.
- Sighing: This phase is characterized by an abundance of sighs. Just copious amounts of sighing.
- Depression: In this phase, self-pity reaches new heights. The realization that there are still many hours left in the day, with your children awake for most of them, can feel suffocating. Sadness wraps around you like your pre-pregnancy clothes. It’s okay to let the tears flow. You might even think about getting a shake to soothe yourself. But then you recall the potential consequences of driving under the influence, leading to even more tears.
- Acceptance: After the chaos of yelling, crying, and sighing, you may finally accept that today simply isn’t your day. You’ve brought this upon yourself, and it’s time to put on your big girl pants, even if it’s just from the couch. You might stay in your pajamas, order pizza for all meals, and count down the minutes until bedtime—vowing never to drink again, at least until your next night out.
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In summary, the experience of parenting after a night of drinking can be likened to navigating various emotional stages, from denial to acceptance. While it can be challenging, understanding these stages may help parents cope with their responsibilities, even on the toughest days.