I find myself perplexed by our current sleeping arrangement, which has transformed our bed into a crowded space occupied by two parents, two dogs, and three children. Although we are fortunate to have enough beds for everyone, we have somehow ended up together in one tangled heap. It is time for a change.
As your mother, my primary role is to meet your needs, but I am also a person with my own needs—one of which is sleep. Reflecting back, I remember the time when you were infants and began sleeping through the night. That was a joyful period for me; I felt a sense of bliss akin to Julie Andrews twirling in a field of flowers. My skin thrived, and your father’s coffee expenses decreased. It was a delightful chapter in our lives.
Now, however, our nights have become a chaotic struggle rather than a time of rest and recovery. You are all tired and irritable, and I am utterly exhausted. I have compiled a brief summary of a typical night in our household, using “you” to refer to all of you, as if you form a coalition against sleep and sanity. Perhaps seeing your actions laid out clearly will spark some change in your hearts. Here’s a glimpse:
- After we tuck you into your warm beds and say goodnight, it takes only 7½ minutes before you come rushing downstairs with something “very important” to share. While I empathize with your grievances—like the booger incident with your sibling or your inability to find a rhyme for “lettuce”—these are not valid reasons to leave your room. Remember: you may only come out if it’s an emergency, specifically if you need to use the bathroom or if you are injured.
- After a brief period, I settle back onto the couch with a glass of wine, indulging in one of my favorite shows. But then, of course, the call of nature arises, and I must break my comfortable cocoon to assist you.
- Just when I think peace has returned, you reappear, asking why morning seems to take so long to arrive. We threaten to confiscate your stuffed animals if you don’t remain in your room.
- Before long, you come back again, feeling lonely because your sibling has drifted off to sleep while you are still awake. You often manage to persuade one of us to lie down with you until you finally doze off.
- When I finally retire to my own bed, the first child arrives just as I’m about to fall asleep, usually between midnight and 1 a.m. You’re adorable, and I bring you into bed with me, but my comfort is compromised as your head takes over my pillow.
- Suddenly, WHACK! I’m jolted awake by a kick to the face. Why are your feet where my face should be?
- The second child joins the fray between 3 and 4 a.m., requiring me to adjust and wake once more.
- Finally, just half an hour before my alarm goes off, the third child decides to join in, squeezing into what little space is left and inadvertently delivering a head-butt to my side. The lack of room and the assault on my body finally compel me to get out of bed.
Can you see the absurdity of this situation? I hope you do. I’m not sure how much longer we can maintain this routine without some changes. Let’s aim for one night of uninterrupted sleep—it would be a fantastic start.
With love,
Mom
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Summary: The author addresses their children about the chaotic nature of their current bedtime routine, highlighting the exhaustion and lack of personal space resulting from everyone sleeping together. They emphasize the need for change and suggest aiming for one night of uninterrupted sleep.