Parenting Insights
My Adolescent Experiences Without the Internet
by Lena Thompson
Updated: Dec. 26, 2015
Originally Published: March 30, 2015
Indeed, we lived through this. During our youth, if we had an obsession—say, our own vintage version of a popular sci-fi series—we would discuss it in person with our real-life friends. Yet, I don’t recall ever having in-depth conversations about television during those years. It was just something we did as teenagers, often and fervently, but it somehow went unspoken.
We also immersed ourselves in music. Conversations about our favorite tunes were paramount; understanding what kind of music your friends enjoyed was essential. I vividly remember the first music video I ever encountered (Billy Idol’s “White Wedding”) at a friend’s gathering, despite having heard about MTV for a year prior. The anticipation was almost unbearable.
What we truly engaged in was writing notes. We exchanged notes during class, in the hallways, and sometimes at home to be delivered the following day. One year, I began writing notes to a boy in my class simply because he resembled someone I knew. For an entire year, we communicated through these notes, with the girl between us reluctantly passing them along, while our spoken words were minimal. As the year progressed, our notes became increasingly intimate. I believe we expressed affection, but I viewed it as playful banter at the time.
Years later, as an adult, I stumbled upon those notes. It became clear that this boy had genuine feelings for me, while I had been blissfully unaware. I recall the pang of disappointment I felt when I saw him with another girl in the following year, but it didn’t linger in my mind. Revisiting those notes filled me with sadness, prompting me to discard them; I couldn’t stand the reminder of the frivolous girl I once was.
Additionally, we spent countless hours on the phone, often ending conversations with warm ears and a ringing sound. This may explain why I experience slight hearing difficulties in my right ear, the ear I predominantly used for calls. We discussed everything that had transpired at school just hours before. Our need for connection was palpable.
We also met face-to-face, which is almost a given, yet it bears mentioning. We attended movies together, had sleepovers (sometimes under false pretenses), went to parties, and spent hours standing on street corners, engrossed in conversations about our evening plans. We lost track of time, enveloped in dialogue as the night and city dimmed around us.
We talked incessantly. The desire for each other’s words was insatiable. We understood one another in a way that has been a hallmark of teenage relationships throughout history.
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In summary, my experience growing up without the internet was characterized by personal interactions, handwritten notes, and lengthy phone calls. These memories highlight the importance of direct communication and connection that defined our youth.