As the parent of a high school junior, I’m finding myself amidst the whirlwind of college preparations. With standardized tests, financial aid workshops, and campus tours, there’s an overwhelming amount for my son, Ethan, to tackle—and for me to fret over.
According to the myriad of college preparation checklists available, I should be actively planning and worrying, but the truth is, I haven’t enrolled Ethan in any ACT prep courses or explored university admission requirements. We’ve skipped out on college fairs, campus tours, and scholarship research altogether.
To be candid, Ethan’s prospects for admission to the more prestigious universities in our state are slim, especially considering his average academic performance. However, my indifference runs deeper than that. While I acknowledge the value of higher education, I also believe that many students aren’t ready for the leap from high school to college immediately—and some might never be.
I can relate to that feeling. During my own high school days, I was immersed in social activities and creative pursuits, but when it came to academics, my motivation was lacking. I would excel in subjects I enjoyed but lost focus in others. Consequently, I followed my peers to a state university without truly being ready, leading to an uninspired college experience that ended after just four semesters, a mediocre GPA, and significant student debt.
Eventually, I returned to education as a mother, and with a newfound commitment, I achieved academic success. But just as I started to see the potential return on my investment, I discovered that I could earn a living as a writer without a degree. Balancing my freelance career and my studies proved to be overwhelming, so I chose to leave school again—this time without regret.
Fast forward over a decade, and I find myself grappling with how to encourage Ethan in a path I didn’t fully embrace myself. Recently, he casually remarked, “College is a scam.” My instinctive response was to defend higher education, but he raised a valid point: neither my husband, Mark, nor I completed our degrees, yet we’ve built successful careers. Mark thrives as an IT technician thanks to his certifications and self-taught skills, while I have established a career as a full-time writer.
We’re fortunate, but I understand we’re the exception rather than the rule. A college degree often opens doors to employment opportunities, and not everyone is inclined toward self-employment, a choice that can sometimes feel risky.
Among our five children, it’s no surprise that at least one would reflect our independent mindset—this time it’s our eldest, Ethan, who seems to bear the brunt of our parenting lessons and societal expectations. However, I have no doubt he will forge his own path and make us proud, even if it doesn’t follow the conventional route from high school to college to career.
If more parents were willing to consider alternative paths for their children, they could potentially alleviate a great deal of stress and financial burden. My perspective diverges from the norm; I appreciate the flexibility of a self-directed career and take pride in what I’ve accomplished without a traditional degree.
There are certainly instances where further education is desired, and while I may not fully grasp the urge to attend college, I support my children’s ambitions wholeheartedly. If Ethan decides to take an unconventional route—whether it be delaying college, starting a business, or pursuing a creative endeavor—as long as he is engaged and working hard, that’s what truly matters.
In essence, my role as a parent is to recognize and nurture each child’s unique qualities, guiding them into adulthood in a way that aligns with their individual aspirations, regardless of societal norms.
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Summary
As a parent of a high school junior, I express my indifference towards traditional college paths, advocating for individual journeys instead. My own experiences reflect the complexities of education and career choices, emphasizing that personal fulfillment and engagement are paramount, regardless of societal expectations.