Maintaining connections with friends from our youth can be challenging, even if you’re in the same city. Life can become overwhelmingly busy, and it’s easy to let significant time elapse between meaningful in-person conversations, especially with those who were part of your life long before social media became a norm.
The Code
- While we will utilize emails, texts, and social media platforms as a last resort for communication, these methods will never rival the warmth of a voice conversation when we can’t physically meet. We acknowledge that viewing each other’s online photos isn’t the same as attending an event together, but we also appreciate these digital snapshots of life as a consolation.
- Even if our in-person interactions occur only once every five years or so, they will be so fulfilling that it will feel like no time has passed. Our friendship exists in a unique realm. Many of us may not have seen each other’s homes or families, but we have shared the awkwardness of adolescence, heartbreaks, and significant life events. Some of us find it surreal that we are now adults, but our shared history—frozen in time—will always serve as a reason to stay connected.
- Certain songs and films from the late ’80s and early ’90s will forever remind us of each other. Just hearing the title of a nostalgic track will prompt an immediate text exchange. If a song like “For Just a Moment” from St. Elmo’s Fire plays unexpectedly, we’ll remember the times we called into radio shows, hoping to hear our favorite tunes.
- Questions about each other’s families, which might seem like trivial small talk to outsiders, carry significant weight between us. Asking “How’s your dad?” or “How’s your sister?” reflects a deep understanding of each other’s lives, as we’ve shared experiences and memories involving our families. We know that time apart doesn’t erase the knowledge and connections we have with each other’s loved ones.
- We will refrain from bringing up past mistakes or regrettable choices, such as ill-fated relationships or periods when our friendship drifted. Those moments are irrelevant now. What matters is our present connection, and we’ll acknowledge that sometimes physical presence isn’t feasible.
- We understand that life comes with its own responsibilities and challenges, which may create distance between us. We won’t hold this against each other, nor will we pretend that social media interactions can replace genuine connections. Our friendship thrives in a space untouched by the complexities of adult life, allowing us to leave behind past grievances.
- Most importantly, we will cherish each other unconditionally. The shared memories we hold are too valuable to allow conditions to interfere.
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In summary, the bond formed before the age of 21 is unique and resilient. It thrives on shared memories, unconditional love, and a mutual understanding that transcends time and distance.