Navigating life with a 12-year-old girl can feel like managing a mini version of a superhero—full of energy one moment and dramatically emotional the next. My once cheerful daughter, who starts her day singing in the shower, often transforms into a sassy whirlwind of eye rolls and tears before breakfast is even over. I find myself adapting right alongside her, shifting roles from the Encouraging Parent to the “I Understand Your Pain” parent.
Despite the emotional ups and downs, we often find common ground. As she approaches adolescence and I face midlife, we unexpectedly align in our experiences, sharing smiles, hugs, and the occasional eye roll. While some shared traits make me question if I should be acting my age, bonding over topics like nail polish, young adult novels, and the complexities of friendships forms the basis of our cherished mother-daughter moments.
Here are ten ways in which this 40-something mom is surprisingly similar to her tween daughter:
- Fashion Choices: Both of us embrace skinny jeans, though we question their appropriateness for each other. My jeans are stylish, while hers seem a bit too snug—is that a visible butt crack? And did she just call mine tight?
- Skin Challenges: Both of us deal with acne flare-ups, reminding us that hormones affect us all, albeit at different life stages.
- Nail Polish Exchange: We often raid each other’s nail polish collections. Painting nails together is a bonding experience filled with music, chatter, and the joy of a relaxing hand massage. Current favorite: Sugarplum, available for a mere $2.99 at Forever 21.
- Unwanted Hair Growth: We both notice unwanted hair growth. Luckily, my daughter can simply wax, while I may need to consider electrolysis.
- Shared Literary Interests: Our love for action-packed, romantic young adult novels unites us. Who doesn’t enjoy a story about a girl who breaks free from the mundane, finds empowerment, and ultimately saves the world? I’m eagerly anticipating the film adaptation we can watch together!
- Colorful Language: We both tend to overuse terms like “freakin’” and “crap.” My creative way of cursing has now become apparent when I hear it from my daughter. Either we both dial it back or continue our colorful dialogue. Double crap.
- Finding “Hot” Guys: We both use the term “hot” to describe characters on shows like Nashville (Deacon for me, Gunnar for her). When did she learn that “hot” doesn’t relate to temperature? And is Nashville suitable for a 12-year-old? Ummm…
- Views on Running: We both consider running a form of torture rather than a fun pastime. I can clearly recall when my dislike for PE began. Who wants to deal with sweat and sore muscles? Yet, we both know exercise is essential. Matching Converse, anyone?
- Insecurities About Friendships: Despite being an adult, I still grapple with friendship insecurities—wondering if I’m perceived as awkward or feeling left out of social events. Fortunately, I can guide my daughter through her own social challenges with my experience.
- Encouraging Each Other’s Dreams: My daughter shines as a talented singer in her school rock band, and I am her biggest supporter. Witnessing her perform fills my heart with pride, especially since I share her dream of singing. Recently, I got to live my fantasy of leading an all-girl band during a school fundraiser. Although she may have felt a bit embarrassed, she still cheered me on, proving she’s my biggest fan too.
Parenting a tween is undeniably intense. However, it’s the moments of connection and shared experiences that make it worthwhile—even if I occasionally question my own fashion choices!
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Summary
This article explores the surprising similarities between a mother in her 40s and her 12-year-old daughter, highlighting common experiences in fashion, skin challenges, literary interests, and insecurities. It emphasizes the importance of bonding during the tumultuous tween years and how shared moments can strengthen their relationship.