As a father of three young kids (ages 8, 5, and 6 months), I had a clear vision of how I would raise them before they arrived. I created a list of things I would never let them do. While I’ve managed to stick to some of those rules, many have been tossed aside due to tantrums or those irresistible puppy dog eyes. Here are a few examples of my parenting contradictions:
- Watch Certain TV Shows: There was a time when I was convinced that my kids would never watch certain shows that I found irritating. For me, it was a certain purple dinosaur. Although I joked about it, I truly believed my children would steer clear of such programming. However, a trip to the library led to an unexpected discovery, and before I knew it, we were spending hours watching the purple menace. Why? Because on tough days, that show provided a brief respite, allowing me to gather my thoughts and maintain my sanity. So, thank you, Barney; I guess a little dinosaur insanity goes a long way.
- Live in a Messy Home: Prior to parenthood, I would visit homes filled with toys and crumbs and wonder how parents could allow such chaos. I quickly learned that kids have an uncanny ability to generate messes. I didn’t realize that sometimes it’s more beneficial to embrace the disorder and head to the park rather than become a tyrant over cleanliness or miss out on quality moments.
- Play Video Games: I have never been particularly fond of video games, and I vowed my children wouldn’t play them. However, once my son turned five and became enamored with gaming, I found myself in a dilemma. Juggling graduate school and parenting meant I occasionally needed a distraction. Now, video games are a regulated part of our lives, and it’s surprising how effective they can be as motivation.
- Eat Fast Food: Fast food has never been my favorite, especially McDonald’s. I used to think I would never take my kids there. But then, a grandparent introduced my son to Happy Meals, and suddenly, he was hooked. It became a routine, and both of my older children began to crave those golden arches. Kids possess an unmatched power; when they latch onto something, even if it’s not ideal, it often ends up on the menu.
- Maintain a Clean Car: Before becoming a parent, I wondered about the state of other parents’ vehicles. Now I understand that kids are indifferent to your car’s cleanliness. The backseat often resembles a war zone, with toys and snacks strewn about as if there are no consequences.
- Handle Tantrums in Public: I once thought I could judge other parents for their children’s outbursts in stores. Then I had my own kids and realized that controlling them in public is a task akin to herding cats. One memorable incident at a department store involved my son throwing a fit and then, unexpectedly, me becoming the punchline of his joke. Teaching kids appropriate behavior in public settings takes time and patience, and often it involves practice in front of bemused onlookers.
- Allow Mismatched Outfits: I used to be adamant that my children would never dress in mismatched clothing. But then my daughter, Emma, began to pick her outfits. One day, she emerged wearing a wildly colorful ensemble that made her beam with pride. Faced with a choice between stifling her creativity or supporting her self-expression, I chose the latter. I told her she looked fabulous and took her out, mismatched outfit and all.
What are some of the rules you’ve relaxed as a parent?
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In summary, as a parent, it’s easy to find oneself adjusting the rules we once thought were set in stone. Whether it’s about TV shows, cleanliness, or dietary choices, the reality of raising children often leads to unexpected compromises. Embracing the chaos and allowing for flexibility can lead to richer experiences for both parents and children alike.