It was 7:30 AM when my son walked up to me and asked, “What’s wrong, Mommy? Are you okay?” His concern was prompted by the sight of me slumped on the living room floor, desperately sipping my fifth cup of coffee while tears streamed down my face. At 7:30 in the morning. While many were just beginning their day, I felt as though I had already surrendered.
“Mommy’s just feeling a little sad, sweetheart,” I managed to reply.
“Why are you sad, Mom?” he gently patted my back with an affection that I could hardly reciprocate at that moment.
“I’m sad because my coffee is all gone,” I said.
What I really meant was, “I’m overwhelmed. I can’t handle this motherhood journey anymore. I’ve consistently felt like a lousy parent, incapable of doing anything right. I’m not sure I can keep this up for another day, let alone a lifetime. This situation is exhausting. I feel like I’m failing.”
Was I being overly dramatic? Yes. Was it true? Probably not.
In that moment, however, it felt undeniably real. I had a lengthy list of reasons supporting my feelings of inadequacy.
- I was crying in front of my kids—surely not a healthy experience for them.
- I had already raised my voice at my daughter about 81 times that morning because she had an incessant urge to climb onto the kitchen table.
- I was at a loss for how many more times I could say, “Stop hitting your sister,” before resigning myself to chaos.
- My children often consumed their meals picnic-style while watching episodes of their favorite show, Curious George, simply because some days, I couldn’t muster the energy to enforce table manners.
- I frequently locked myself in the bathroom for five minutes of solitude, longing to escape to a different reality because the one I was in felt untenable.
- My kids weren’t consuming enough vegetables.
- They indulged in far too many sugary snacks.
- They spent an excessive amount of time in front of screens.
- I felt clueless about how to discipline effectively.
- I struggled to figure out engaging activities to keep them busy throughout the day.
The list went on, and that morning, I was convinced I held the title for the worst mother in the world.
However, later that night, while vacuuming up what felt like an entire box of Cheerios, a moment of clarity washed over me.
I’m not a terrible parent; I’m just normal.
Once I stopped allowing guilt and self-criticism to overwhelm me, I recalled blog posts I had read, stories shared by friends, and books I’d managed to read before my children decided to turn them into confetti. I remembered:
- Other mothers lose their temper too.
- Other mothers lie awake at night, haunted by guilt.
- Other mothers serve cereal for dinner and feel okay about it.
- Other mothers live in homes with messy bathrooms and sticky floors.
- Other mothers take a moment of peace in the closet.
- Other mothers struggle to come up with fun activities to engage their toddlers.
- Other mothers wish their child would go back to sleep after waking up at 5 AM.
- Other mothers worry they’re making mistakes in parenting.
If all these women—friends and strangers alike—are navigating similar challenges, it means I’m not alone.
And if we’re all in this together, facing the same hurdles, then… I’m not a bad parent. I’m just like everyone else.
That realization was a relief.
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Summary
This reflection on motherhood illustrates the overwhelming feelings many parents experience. The author navigates through moments of self-doubt, ultimately recognizing that these feelings are common among mothers. Acknowledging shared struggles can provide relief and a sense of normalcy in the challenging journey of parenting.