My child, who is HIV-positive, is currently playing with your child, and you may be unaware of this fact. She has interacted with your child at various local activities, such as a private preschool, swim lessons, and gymnastics classes. Due to legal protections surrounding HIV status, we are not obligated to disclose her condition to schools, camps, or other parents, except for medical professionals.
The stigma and misinformation surrounding HIV have prompted many individuals to advocate for the right to keep such information private. Before we adopted, our social worker advised us, “It’s best to keep this to yourselves. Your child may already face challenges fitting in due to her background. Do you really want to give others another reason to judge her?”
Recently, during kindergarten, my daughter attempted to share her story with your child. “Sophie, guess what? I have a dragon in my blood. I was born with it, and my birth mommy had it too. When I take my medicine, the dragon stays asleep.” Unfortunately, Sophie and several classmates did not understand or believe her. One even claimed, “Well, I was born in China, and I have a dragon too!” They simply lacked the knowledge to comprehend her words.
Why Disclosure is Unnecessary
So, why is it unnecessary for me to inform schools, churches, and daycare providers about my child’s HIV status? Because, statistically, HIV has never been transmitted in these environments. With current medical advancements, the virus is effectively rendered inactive. Every four months, my daughter undergoes tests, and each time, the results confirm there is no detectable virus in her system. She is healthy, cheerful, and full of life. I care for her like any other child, treating scrapes, sharing meals, and sharing affection—all without any risk of transmitting HIV.
It’s important to remember that she was born with this condition. Had her birth mother received proper antiretroviral treatment during pregnancy, my daughter could have been born HIV-negative. In China, the medications required for treatment are provided at no cost by the government. However, many HIV-positive individuals in China avoid treatment, fearing the stigma associated with admitting their status, which can result in rejection from loved ones.
Looking Ahead
In the future, my daughter may even date your son and have HIV-negative children if she chooses to. Fellow parents, I urge you to understand that there is nothing to fear about HIV. I encourage you to conduct your own research, consult with your pediatrician, and educate yourselves on this topic. You can discover the facts for yourself. Just remember, my HIV-positive child is playing with yours, and the truth is, it doesn’t matter which one she is.
HIV itself is not the issue; rather, it is the ignorance and stigma that surround it.
For more insights on parenting and health, visit this informative blog post or check out the resources available at Make a Mom. Additionally, for a comprehensive guide on pregnancy, March of Dimes offers excellent resources.
Summary
My child, who is HIV-positive, plays with your child without you knowing. Due to legal protections, we are not required to disclose her status. Modern medicine renders the virus inactive, allowing her to live a healthy, normal life. Understanding and education about HIV are crucial to dispelling stigma.