Parenting
As I reflect on my journey from the birth of my first child to the present day, I realize I have undergone some rather unexpected transformations. It wasn’t until a friend without children looked at me in horror that I recognized just how drastically my perspective has shifted. Here are the top ten notable changes I’ve experienced:
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Chocolate or Feces?
Before parenthood: A brown smudge was undoubtedly chocolate, and I wouldn’t think twice about tasting it.
After parenthood: Now, that same stain could very well be feces. My initial reaction? A thorough sniff for identification. Whether it’s chocolate or something less pleasant, I usually won’t interrupt my activities to clean it up—it can wait. -
Handling Mucus
Before parenthood: I was disgusted by boogers, using multiple tissues to blow my nose, and the thought of someone picking theirs would send me running.
After parenthood: If a tissue is nearby, I might use it. If not, my bare hand is a viable option. Scooping boogers from my infant’s nose has become routine, and I’ve accepted that my clothes will bear the marks of these little “snot adventures.” -
Vomit Control
Before parenthood: If someone looked likely to vomit, my instinct was to vacate the area.
After parenthood: I now find myself instinctively catching my children’s vomit with my hands. It’s a choice between warm, chunky mess in my palms or a ruined carpet—no contest! -
Saliva for Cleanliness
Before parenthood: My sister’s childhood antics of using saliva to annoy us were repulsive.
After parenthood: Now, I find myself using my own saliva to clean my kids’ faces without a second thought. I assure myself it’s for hygiene, not cruelty! -
Nail Maintenance
Before parenthood: I promptly trimmed my nails when they grew long.
After parenthood: With kids’ nails growing at an alarming rate, I’ve resorted to nibbling my baby’s nails when I can’t find the clippers. Don’t judge! -
Unintentional Urine Exposure
Before parenthood: Sleeping in urine was a drunken mishap or a rare accident.
After parenthood: You will inevitably wake up to a warm liquid surprise. When the culprit sheepishly apologizes, you might find yourself feeling guilty for your shocked reaction. -
Bath Time Attitudes
Before parenthood: Any bodily fluid in my bath would warrant immediate drainage and disinfection.
After parenthood: I now let my child splash around in the tub, even when I see the telltale yellow halo forming. A little urine is just part of the experience, right? -
Ice Cream Preparation
Before parenthood: Watching my mom lick my ice cream cone was torture.
After parenthood: I now lick the cone to prevent it from melting down my child’s arms. It’s all about practicality! -
Leftover Acceptance
Before parenthood: Eating food that someone else has partially chewed was unthinkable.
After parenthood: If my child has left food uneaten, I don’t hesitate to finish it off, saving time and sanity. -
Diaper Analysis
Before parenthood: I never found myself enthusiastically smelling diapers.
After parenthood: Now, I feel compelled to take a whiff of a soiled diaper, despite the obvious signs of a mess. It’s just part of the job!
The transition into parenthood brings about some truly odd behaviors. My hope is that one day my children will also face their own transformations into similarly “disgusting” human beings. It’s all part of the cycle of life.
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this blog post about intracervical insemination. Another great resource for understanding the process of becoming a parent is Make a Mom, which offers comprehensive information on at-home insemination kits. If you’re considering fertility treatments, March of Dimes is an excellent resource.
In summary, parenthood introduces a host of changes that may seem gross to outsiders but become completely normal to those living it. The willingness to embrace these changes ultimately deepens the bond with our children.