On January 6th of this year, Florida became the 36th state to recognize same-sex marriage. My partner, Jamie, and I were ready to embrace this monumental change. Over the course of eight years, we had built a life together, purchasing a home and intertwining our finances (let’s just say Jamie handles most of the bills!), while raising our son, Lucas, for the past four years.
While many envision traditional weddings filled with elegant décor, meticulously planned ceremonies, and heartfelt toasts, our ceremony was a different affair. Ours was the spontaneous “marriage-equality-yes-we-can-get-married” celebration, and it was far superior to the conventional approach. Here’s why:
11. Minimal Planning
Traditional weddings often involve extensive planning, from seating arrangements to floral designs. Not for us! We sent out a Facebook invite: “Meet us at the courthouse in three days! We’re getting hitched!” No fuss, no stress. Even the officiant showed up at the last minute.
10. Shared Experience
Many couples feel overwhelmed when they marry, worrying about being ready or finding “the one.” But when everyone around you is also celebrating their commitment, it feels less daunting. We were part of a wave of love, and it felt reassuring to be among so many others sharing this experience—our number was C17 in the line!
9. Including Our Child
Traditional weddings often lack the inclusion of children because they haven’t been born yet. Fortunately, as a gay couple, we had the privilege of raising kids before we could legally marry. Lucas was a vital part of our day, making it all the more special.
8. Cost-Effective
The expenses of a typical wedding can be astronomical—dress, venue, catering, and more. Our wedding? Rings and a new outfit, and we were done. We saved a fortune!
7. Unexpected Guests
Forget about hiring strippers; we had real-life officers in attendance. Just a minor detail that added to the day’s uniqueness!
6. Midnight Vows
No one would typically choose to get married at 12:01 AM on a Tuesday, but how rebellious and cool is that? We embraced the unconventional, fueled by our midnight caffeine fix from Starbucks.
5. Government Office Venue
While some may frown upon a government building as a wedding venue, it added a sense of irony and excitement. We navigated through metal detectors and waited in a room resembling a jury assembly area before descending to our ceremony venue, creating a festive atmosphere filled with joy and anticipation.
4. Presence of Officials
Did the County Clerk and Sheriff attend your wedding? Probably not. Their presence added an air of significance to our ceremony, marking the importance of the day.
3. Shared Anniversary
Our wedding day coincided with others, allowing us to celebrate alongside numerous friends and families. January 6th is now a day that symbolizes love and equality for many couples, making it even more meaningful.
2. Community Support
We were surrounded by dear friends who have supported us throughout our journey. Sharing this moment with them, especially with the wonderful couple, Mia and Zara, made it all the more special for our son, who has formed close bonds with them.
1. The Power of Love
At the heart of it all is love. While our marriage may not be better than anyone else’s, the love we have for each other—and the overwhelming support from family and friends—truly makes it extraordinary.
Throughout our lives, we never thought we’d have the opportunity to marry. Many in the LGBTQ+ community have faced challenges and discrimination, but that’s not our reality anymore. Lucas’s joy at learning he’d share our last name was priceless. The Duffy-Martins are not just a family; we are a testament to love, gratitude, and resilience.
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Summary: The marriage equality ceremony experienced by Alex and Jamie in Florida was a celebration filled with spontaneity, community support, and love. Their experience highlighted the joys of including their child, the minimal costs involved, and the unique setting of a government office. The day represented not just their union, but a significant moment in the fight for equality, surrounded by friends and family who shared in their joy.