When discussing children with Down syndrome, it’s common for people to express well-meaning compliments. However, some of these statements can unintentionally perpetuate stereotypes or create misunderstandings. Here are five compliments that may be best to reconsider.
- “Children with Down syndrome are a blessing from above.” While the sentiment may be genuine, it can feel overused and can inadvertently create a divide between children with Down syndrome and their peers. All children are valuable and cherished, and it’s important to recognize that the challenges and joys of parenting are universal. This type of compliment can make it difficult to express typical parental frustrations.
- “She is always so joyful and easygoing!” Although many children with Down syndrome are often described as cheerful, it’s important to remember that they experience a full range of emotions, just like any other child. My daughter, Mia, has her moments of frustration and defiance, just like her siblings. Reducing their experience to stereotypes diminishes their individuality.
- “She doesn’t really look like she has Down syndrome!” This comment can be misleading and even hurtful. Children with Down syndrome may have distinctive physical features, and suggesting otherwise can imply that their beauty is contingent upon meeting certain societal standards. Instead, it’s more meaningful to appreciate Mia for who she is, rather than comparing her to a preconceived notion of what someone with Down syndrome should look like.
- “Just think! You’ll always have a little one at home!” This statement can be misleading. Adults with Down syndrome grow, learn, and experience life just like anyone else. They are not children in adult bodies. Emphasizing the idea of perpetual childhood may undermine their potential for independence and growth, which is something I genuinely desire for Mia.
- “I could never handle what you do! You’re amazing!” Such praise can feel burdensome. It places unrealistic expectations on parents like me, suggesting that we are somehow extraordinary for simply caring for our children. The truth is, we rise to the occasion because we must. It’s essential to acknowledge that each family’s journey is unique, and everyone has their own challenges.
While it’s clear that people mean well when they offer compliments, it’s crucial to foster a deeper understanding of the realities of raising a child with Down syndrome. For more insights on this topic, you can explore our other blog post, which discusses valuable perspectives on parenting.
In conclusion, genuine engagement and understanding go much further than clichés. By focusing on the individual child rather than well-intended but problematic compliments, we can foster a more inclusive and supportive environment for everyone.