Over the course of six and a half years and four pregnancies, I have experienced significant growth in various aspects of my life:
- Physical Changes: I have fluctuated in weight, gaining and losing a total of 140 pounds, averaging around 35 pounds for each pregnancy; some were more indulgent than others.
- Perception of Coolness: I abandoned any remaining semblance of trendiness when we acquired a minivan, despite my earlier resolution to avoid them, believing they were only for the “uncool.”
- Control Over Chaos: I no longer stress about dressing my kids in matching outfits; it’s simply not feasible.
- Adaptability: My problem-solving skills have expanded tremendously, especially in situations once considered overwhelming, such as dealing with broken bones (we’ve experienced three) or managing a newborn’s illnesses (the count reached over a dozen). We even survived a trip without a Pack ‘n Play. Life continues despite the hurdles.
Insights into Raising Four Children
Here are insights into what you can expect if you are contemplating having four children:
- Public Reactions: When you venture out with your entire crew, you might attract some curious attention. Just the other day, I took the kids to a doctor’s appointment, and within an hour, four different individuals approached me to inquire if all four were mine. One even stopped her vehicle to ask! Yes, this lively bunch is all mine. Common comments I hear daily include, “Wow, that’s a lot of kids!” and “Did you plan this?”
- Forgetfulness: Your daily life can feel reminiscent of the movie Memento, where the protagonist can only retain memories for 15 minutes. My mind resembles a cluttered web browser with numerous tabs open simultaneously. Questions like, “Did I pay the phone bill?” and “What day is it?” race through my mind. With four kids vying for attention, it’s easy to forget essential tasks like sending a birthday card or picking up dry cleaning.
- Morning Mayhem: Getting everyone out the door in the morning can feel like a scene from Jumanji. Just recently, my partner, Mark, had to manage all the kids alone for the first time in the morning. He managed to have them fed and dressed, but when I asked how it went, he simply said, “Yeah, that was wild.” It’s the chaos of a crying baby, a toddler sitting on another child, and the endless reminders to “put your shoes on” while trying to help the oldest with her hair.
- Nail Clipping: After completing my own grooming and then tackling the kids’ nails, it feels as if I’ve clipped 100 nails. Perhaps “100 Nails” would be a fitting name for a band I could form with my children.
- Loss of Privacy: Any moment of solitude is a thing of the past. Just the other day, I took a quick shower, only to be interrupted by my little one outside asking if I was done yet to show me a trick. My plans for a peaceful moment quickly evaporated.
- Catering to Picky Eaters: When cooking for four discerning young palates, it’s nearly impossible to prepare a meal that everyone will appreciate. I’m working on instilling a rule: responses to dinner inquiries should be limited to “Yay! Thanks, Mom!” or “OK!” If I haven’t asked for your opinion, it might be best to keep it to yourself.
- Bathing Frequency: You might find that your children’s bath time decreases compared to when you only had one or two. I’ve heard from some fellow moms that they stretch out bath days for their children when it’s crucial for their own sanity. A hypothetical mom might skip a few days in between baths if it means getting to bed sooner.
- The Joy amid Chaos: Despite the public scrutiny, daily chaos, and the overwhelming tasks at hand, each time you welcome a new baby, you’ll be amazed at how your capacity to love expands to embrace them all. And as the day winds down, when the little ones are finally asleep and you unwind with a glass of wine and Netflix, you’ll reflect on this beautiful journey. You wouldn’t change a thing, except perhaps for a bit of help around the house, like a personal chef.
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Summary
Raising four children presents unique challenges and experiences, from public reactions to managing chaos and fostering love. Adaptability, flexibility, and a sense of humor are essential as you navigate the complexities of daily life with a large family.