In my early twenties, a mental health professional suggested that my various life challenges could be linked to Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). This revelation was unexpected, as I had never perceived myself as having difficulties with focus. “I genuinely believe you have ADD, which may explain your struggles with daily responsibilities,” she remarked. She handed me a questionnaire. “Complete this, and if your score indicates a concern, your physician could prescribe Adderall.” She framed this as if my issues mirrored those of a hyperactive child.
At home, I approached the questions earnestly until I encountered one that read: “Do you have trouble concentrating on tasks that do not engage you?” Isn’t that the very definition of tedious? If mundane tasks were engaging and straightforward, they wouldn’t be mundane. I paused my responses, concluding that organizing my life would yield greater benefits than ADD assessments and pharmaceuticals.
However, for parents, particularly those staying at home, perhaps Adderall could alleviate some of our challenges. Many parents, I suspect, share my experience of grappling with the monotonous chores that fill our days. If we consider the assessment I completed years ago, it seems many of us could be diagnosed with what I term Parenting Attention Deficit Disorder (PADD). I can only hope it will be recognized in future diagnostic manuals.
This doesn’t mean my attention wavers constantly. I manage to feed my children their many meals and snacks, engage in art projects with them, and read stories for extended periods. Yet, there are moments when I find myself pondering what other adults are doing while I scrub macaroni and cheese off the ceiling, leading me to scroll through social media. Occasionally, I’ll skim headlines to assist my eldest with her social studies homework, rather than asking, “We have a Black president? Since when?!”
When my PADD leads me to pursue interesting, non-child-related activities, I still keep my ears attuned to my children’s antics. It’s crucial to ensure my son isn’t overwhelming his toddler sister with overly affectionate hugs reminiscent of Elmyra from Tiny Toons, who tends to overdo it. Generally, he is a caring big brother, but at four years old, he is hardly equipped to take on the role of a babysitter.
The two of them playing together is not an ideal moment for a PADD episode, as I experienced recently. While they were engaged upstairs, I peeked in to find my daughter playing with her sister’s dolls, while my son faced away from me at his desk. After a brief distraction on Twitter, I ventured upstairs to discover that he had initiated a game involving scissors he aptly named “Cut Everything.” The title was both shockingly descriptive and alarming.
After reclaiming the scissors, we set about cleaning up the billions of tiny confetti pieces he had created. The paper clung so tenaciously to my toddler’s clothes that I even found myself vacuuming the fabric while she wore them! (Of course, I shared this moment on social media during my next PADD episode.)
I gave little thought to that incident until my wife returned home later that evening and inquired about our toddler’s hair. “What happened to her lovely curls?” she asked. It dawned on me that in those brief, unsupervised moments, my son had given his sister an impromptu haircut. Ever the clever sibling, she promptly reported him: when asked if her brother had used scissors on her, she nodded and stated, “Boy. Hair.”
Both of us were caught red-handed.
I understand my wife’s frustration with my lapse in vigilance; we were fortunate that it was merely a haircut and not something more serious. Since then, I have endeavored to be more attentive, steering clear of the enticing distractions of the Internet. Yet, maintaining constant focus is no easy feat.
Nonetheless, I don’t believe PADD is solely a symptom of our digital era. Parenting has always posed such challenges: since the dawn of humanity, parents have likely found themselves distracted by things other than their children. I have anecdotal evidence to support this claim. When my son’s preschool teacher, Ms. Taylor, heard my story, she shared a similar experience: “Oh yes, that happened to me too. My older daughter once gave her little sister a haircut while they were playing under the kitchen table. It was so short, it resembled a bad military cut.”
“Where were you during this chaos?” I asked.
“I was sitting at the table, enjoying a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper,” she replied nonchalantly. So, while previous generations might not have been glued to social media, they undoubtedly experienced their own version of PADD, just as we do today.
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Summary:
Parental Attention Deficit Disorder (PADD) reflects the challenges many parents face in maintaining focus amidst the repetitive and often mundane tasks of parenting. The narrative illustrates how distractions can lead to unexpected consequences, such as a child getting a haircut at the hands of their sibling. This phenomenon transcends generations, indicating that the struggle for parental attention has always existed, regardless of technological advancements.