I consistently promised myself that once I became a parent, I would not mirror my mother’s behaviors. I envisioned being the trendy mom who engaged in yoga sessions with her children and maintained a calm demeanor at all times. Spontaneous adventures would be the norm, with my living room walls being a canvas for washable crayons, all while French language lessons played softly in the background.
Then reality hit when I actually had kids.
Now, my walls are adorned with Crayola stains that, despite their “washable” label, are anything but easy to remove. Those language tapes held my children’s attention for a mere seven minutes before they clamored for their favorite show. What I once considered impromptu outings have transformed into last-minute coffee runs or trips to the liquor store.
I thought I was still the cool mom until one day, I faked a headache just to gain a few moments of peace and quiet. That tactic had worked on my partner, so why not try it with the kids? But then I had a startling realization: Oh no, I’m turning into my mother! Before you start to panic, take a moment to assess whether you might also be showing signs of becoming your mother with these 24 indicators:
- You perform your maternal checklist before any child leaves the house: sniffing for odd odors, checking for dirt on hands and faces, and asking a barrage of questions about potential bathroom needs or snack cravings.
- You find yourself complaining about bloating, back pain, exhaustion, or the need for more coffee.
- Your wardrobe has shifted to include yoga pants, sweatpants, or elastic-waist jeans.
- You utter vague phrases like, “I need to put my face on,” as you hurriedly apply mascara before heading out.
- You’ve been caught using the reflection in your stainless-steel toaster to tweeze an errant chin hair.
- You mutter to yourself so frequently that your voice has become a constant background noise throughout the day.
- You begin lectures with, “When I was your age…”
- You have been seen wearing a coat over your pajamas in front of your kids during school drop-off, much to their embarrassment.
- You sing loudly in your car, reminiscing about the music of the ’80s.
- You’ve perfected the art of the never-ending goodbye by initiating new conversations mid-sentence.
- Everyone in your household knows when you indulge in ice cream, thanks to the onset of lactose intolerance.
- When your children’s fashion choices include rips and graphics, you suddenly adopt a more conservative stance on their clothing.
- You find yourself saying, “1, 2…OMG! Don’t make me say 3!”
- You’ve mastered your mom’s infamous disapproving glare, which is effective on both your children and the neighborhood kids.
- You’ve become surprisingly enthusiastic about attending PTA meetings. (Is this real life?)
- After years of parenting, you’ve come to understand that your mother wasn’t just drinking coffee at every event—hint, hint.
- You’ve started concocting elaborate tales about food, leading you to believe that spaghetti is actually hair from a giant ninja, and that eating it might grant you the Golden Sword of All Knowing.
- You can’t help but share embarrassing stories about your children, like the time your son flashed the brownie troop.
- Turns out, moms are quite free with their bodily functions—especially after indulging in ice cream (refer to point 11).
- The phrase, “Because I gave birth to you,” has become your go-to excuse.
- Your workout clothes embarrass your children, especially when they see you doing Pilates to a Jane Fonda DVD in the living room.
- You’ve told your daughter you hope she has children just like her, thinking it’s a clever lesson.
- You now require half a pot of coffee to function in the morning and a half bottle of wine by evening.
- You’ve developed strong opinions on Spanx, dieting, and how long it’s acceptable to wear maternity pants post-birth.
Eventually, the day will arrive when you sneak an extra slice of cake and lament about starting a diet tomorrow, and that’s when it will dawn on you—you are indeed becoming your mother.
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Summary:
This article humorously outlines the common signs that indicate one is becoming like their mother as they navigate the journey of parenthood. The author reflects on her initial intentions versus the realities of parenting, presenting a relatable list of behaviors that many parents might recognize in themselves.