By: Jamie Thompson
Updated: Aug. 23, 2017
Originally Published: Jan. 1, 2013
Mastering the art of bedtime stalling is an essential skill for toddlers by the age of two. By implementing the strategies outlined below, you can easily extend your bedtime by a solid forty-five minutes. Before you know it, you’ll be enjoying midnight snacks, binge-watching late-night comedy, and contemplating those cozy Slankets that always look so inviting on infomercials.
LESSON ONE: MAKE THE PAJAMA TRANSITION A CHALLENGE
Sprint around the house at maximum speed. If a parent attempts to catch you, go completely limp as if you weigh a ton. Even if they manage to get your clothes off, that shouldn’t stop you from making a hasty escape, preferably while running around in the buff.
LESSON TWO: UNEXPECTED DINNER ENTHUSIASM
This strategy works best if you usually display a disinterest in food. When the bedtime routine begins, suddenly express an overwhelming desire for dinner. Your parents will find themselves in a dilemma between tucking you in and worrying that you might starve.
LESSON THREE: OVER-ACHIEVING ON DENTAL HYGIENE
Brush with fervor. Request more toothpaste, and switch toothbrushes multiple times. Turn the faucet on and off excessively. If you feel your teeth aren’t truly clean, start the entire process over again. You get the idea.
LESSON FOUR: HIDE YOUR COMFORT ITEMS
Prioritize the number of comfort items you require, such as a blanket, a stuffed toy, and a sippy cup. About an hour before bedtime, strategically hide these items around the house, granting yourself precious minutes while your parents embark on a detailed scavenger hunt.
LESSON FIVE: BOOK SELECTION DELIBERATIONS
When it comes time for bedtime stories, stand frozen in front of your bookshelf, paralyzed by indecision. Try to negotiate for extra books; if they offer you two, request three, and so on. Always aim for the longest story possible, or one with numerous interactive flaps that will take ages to get through.
LESSON SIX: ENGAGEMENT STRATEGY
Throughout the day, your parents have sought your attention, but now is your moment to shine. Flash your brightest smile and engage them in conversation. Sing a song or express your affection. The goal is to make it challenging for them to leave the room.
LESSON SEVEN: FINAL STALLING EFFORTS
Once a parent attempts to place you in your crib, your stalling time is limited. You can try to wriggle free or simply protest vocally. However, consider lying down and accepting your fate gracefully—it’s been a productive day, and there’s always tomorrow for more stalling.
Sleep well, aspiring stalling experts!
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Summary:
This guide offers practical strategies for toddlers to master bedtime stalling, allowing them to prolong their bedtime routines effectively. By employing tactics such as making pajama changes difficult, feigning interest in dinner, and engaging parents in conversation, toddlers can extend their awake time significantly.