My daughters are uniquely distinct in their personalities and physicality. My six-year-old, a slender whirlwind, possesses an inner strength that belies her petite frame. She radiates energy and confidence, as if a spark ignites her spirit, despite her delicate stature. In contrast, my three-year-old is adorably plump, with a baby-like charm that softens her demeanor. She mirrors the emotions of a little one, transitioning from laughter to tears in an instant, often crumbling into a puddle of sadness with the slightest disapproval.
Physically, they are a study in contrast: my older daughter has bright blonde hair and striking blue eyes reminiscent of her father, while my younger one, resembling me, sports dark brown hair and deep brown eyes. Observers frequently question whether the two girls are siblings, and once, someone audaciously inquired if they shared the same parents. In that moment, I was so taken aback that all I could manage was a stunned “yes.” A friend later suggested that I could have cheekily responded with, “As far as my husband knows (wink).”
These girls, despite their differences, share a common fascination: princesses. Princess movies, dolls, and attire dominate their interests – a notion I’ve grappled with, considering my educational background. Having attended an all-girls school from sixth to twelfth grade, I was fortunate to have inspiring teachers who challenged traditional gender roles. One teacher, in particular, passionately critiqued the concept of princesses, questioning the message we send to future generations of women. “Are we teaching them that their worth lies in beauty and romance?” she would ask, her voice echoing in my mind.
Fast forward two decades, and I find myself surrounded by a plethora of princess-themed toys. While I’ve ensured that my daughters have access to a variety of playthings, including dinosaurs and building blocks, they consistently gravitate back to their princess collections. While I could simply restrict access to these items, I believe that forbidden things tend to be more appealing. However, when it comes to books, I prioritize a range of literature and thankfully, they seldom request Disney Princess books.
When my daughters opt for a princess toy over something more feminist, I can’t help but hear my former teacher’s voice asking, “What message are we sending?” Guilt washes over me, and I worry about whether I’m adequately preparing them to be strong, independent women. I encourage them to face their fears and demonstrate problem-solving skills, especially since their father often works late. They understand that if something needs addressing, it’s mom who steps up. I strive to impart the values of love and strength, but I can’t help but wonder if this is sufficient.
Recently, while at the park, my daughters were engrossed in play when an older boy approached my three-year-old and took her shovel without a word. She immediately burst into tears, while her older sister observed from a distance. I held my breath, resisting the urge to intervene. I silently urged my six-year-old to stand her ground without resorting to whining or aggression. To my surprise, she approached the boy and, with a fierce glare, demanded the shovel back. The boy returned it, and she graciously thanked him. Her ability to assert herself was commendable, showcasing a blend of strength and grace.
As they resumed their play, digging in the sand, I was filled with pride. The dirt on their clothes would have delighted my former teacher, but it was my older daughter’s display of girl power that would have truly impressed her.
So, my sweet girls, if you wish to play with your princesses, then by all means do so. Remember, true strength shines in moments of challenge. As long as you can demonstrate resilience when it matters most, you will undoubtedly thrive.
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Summary:
The article reflects on the author’s experiences raising two daughters with contrasting personalities and interests, particularly their fascination with princesses. It wrestles with the implications of these interests in light of feminist teachings from the author’s past. The narrative highlights moments of empowerment and sisterly support, reinforcing the belief that true strength is demonstrated in challenging situations. The author encourages embracing individuality while recognizing the importance of resilience and empowerment in their upbringing.