For the past four years, I’ve been pondering a question: How will my daughter, Lily, ever repay me for those grueling forty-two hours of labor? In a delightful twist of fate, the answer came to me while I was in line at the grocery store.
Spotting a magazine featuring a glamorous actress, Lily exclaimed, “Mommy, she looks just like you!” In that moment, time seemed to pause, and I felt her bright blue eyes sparkling with admiration. “Oh, really? She’s quite beautiful,” I replied modestly, feeling a bit like I was floating on air. Despite her struggles with visual processing, she seemed to see me as a version of beauty, and for that moment, I felt we were even.
Of course, I don’t actually resemble that actress at all. Short hair and brown eyes are our only similarities, and I certainly don’t share her ethnicity. Yet, children have a unique ability to generalize, and sometimes, it can work in your favor—other times, not so much.
For instance, there was a recent dinner where I came to the table looking less than my best. Lily, perhaps still feeling the sting of not being allowed to bring her toy purse to the dinner table, complimented me: “You look very handsome tonight, Mommy.” My partner, Alex, chimed in quickly, “You mean, ‘Mommy is so pretty!’” “No, she’s handsome,” Lily retorted, a cheeky grin plastered on her face.
This is not the first time she has delivered such brutally honest observations. “Mommy, your tummy looks different than mine,” she once said, and “Wow, Mommy, you have a little fuzz on your upper lip!” I thought I had moved past such comments after enduring years of scrutiny, but here I am, back in the hot seat of childhood honesty.
Lily is blissfully unaware of her own imperfections. With her golden hair and flawless complexion, she often draws the attention of strangers, who exclaim, “What a beautiful child!” Meanwhile, I find myself navigating the aisles with my “mom bod” and the reality of three pregnancies. Surprisingly, I feel more at ease with my body than ever before—perhaps because I no longer seek validation from anyone.
If only I could keep Lily from voicing her observations. Just last summer, she asked me if I “remembered dinosaurs.” Kids have a remarkable ability to see the world with clarity, unclouded by societal expectations and biases. They often voice thoughts that adults wouldn’t dare to articulate.
I take pride in my efforts to teach my children about acceptance and self-love, hoping they will internalize these values. This morning, I thought I saw that understanding reflected in Lily’s face as she looked at me with pure adoration. Then, she cheerfully proclaimed, “Mommy, your breath smells like a garbage truck.”
There it is. I’m drafting a bill for all the labor I’ve done.
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In summary, children possess a refreshing honesty that can be both amusing and brutally candid. Their observations often cut through to the heart of a matter, reminding us that beauty is subjective and that love transcends physical appearances.