One common reaction I receive from civilian parents when they discover I’m married to a service member is, “I can’t imagine how you manage it all.” I usually respond with a smile and a chuckle, for there are numerous aspects of military family life that are truly wonderful, even if they often go unnoticed.
Admittedly, there are challenges that come with having an active duty partner. The absence of overtime pay for those long hours—often exceeding 40 a week—can be frustrating. For a significant period, my partner’s workdays stretched from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m., not to mention the occasional overnight shifts. Moreover, the emotional toll of deployments can feel overwhelming and lengthy. However, despite these difficulties, I find great joy in being a military spouse. For us, the positives significantly outweigh the negatives. Here’s why:
1. Frequent Moves
Believe it or not, relocating is something my partner and I enjoy. Over the past decade, we’ve resided in states such as Texas and Virginia, as well as overseas in Germany, New Orleans, and Washington, D.C. While the stress of a Permanent Change of Station (PCS) can be considerable, it also brings excitement. Each new location introduces us to fresh friendships, adventures, and experiences. Our lives would lack the richness they currently hold without the military’s frequent relocations.
2. Comprehensive Healthcare
The Tricare system, while not without its flaws, offers numerous advantages. We benefit from clinic visits with no co-pays, free prescriptions, and hospital stays that don’t come with exorbitant bills. I have received care for everything from seasonal allergies to surgeries, including the birth of our children—even one overseas. Although not every experience has been flawless, I value the broad and accessible healthcare that my family receives.
3. Job Security
For years, my partner and I deliberated about his long-term commitment to the military—whether he would serve for 20 years or leave at the earliest opportunity. Each time a chance to depart arose, we found it hard to justify the decision. The unpredictable nature of civilian employment is daunting when compared to the stability offered by military service. The accompanying healthcare, housing benefits, and retirement plans are aspects we would struggle to replicate outside the military.
4. Valuable Discounts
It may seem minor, but military discounts are genuinely beneficial. Many major retailers provide discounts across various sectors, including restaurants, tourist attractions, and even car sales. This element of our lifestyle often goes unnoticed by civilians, yet it significantly enhances our ability to enjoy experiences that might otherwise be financially out of reach.
5. A Vast Network of Friends
The constant moving fosters an impressive expansion of my social circle. I’ve formed deep friendships through the military and even crossed paths with a few notable personalities (one day, I’ll share the embarrassing story of how I met Alex!). As the saying goes, the military community is tight-knit. Every new station brings new acquaintances as well as familiar faces, ensuring that no matter where we go, I’m never truly alone.
While military life isn’t for everyone, my family embraces it wholeheartedly and plans to continue this journey.
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In summary, being a military spouse encompasses unique challenges, but the benefits—such as the excitement of moving, access to healthcare, job stability, discounts, and a broad social network—make it an enriching experience that my family truly appreciates.