In the realm of parenting, honesty is often regarded as a paramount virtue. However, the reality is that many aspects of childhood are built upon fabrications. From the tales of Santa Claus to the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, these myths are often justified as integral parts of growing up. We hope our children remain blissfully naive for as long as possible. Yet, as parents, we inevitably find ourselves telling a few white lies. Here are ten common myths I convey to my kids:
- I’m almost finished. This is a frequent phrase in my household. I tell my child that dinner is nearly prepared, even though it’s still a half-hour away from being ready. I assure my daughter that I’m almost done brushing her hair, even though it’s going to take a while due to her thick curls. I know you want to keep playing during your bath, but I’m almost done (despite just starting) washing off that sticky mess.
- Dinner is delicious! In truth, it’s not. I’ve probably overcooked the broccoli while simultaneously trying to manage your wardrobe malfunction, and the countless reviews praising “World’s Best Chicken” are misleading, much like my own claims.
- We’ll visit the park soon. In reality, “soon” could mean tomorrow or even next week. Perhaps your other parent will take you so I can sneak in a nap or binge-watch another episode on Netflix. Trust me, we will go—eventually.
- I don’t mind sharing my food. Of course, I do mind! It’s not as if I ever get a moment to enjoy my meals, so naturally, I want to share with you. I can always eat after you head off to college.
- What an amazing drawing! Is that a stick figure next to a tree, or perhaps a walrus playing basketball in outer space? I’ll let you decide.
- I love bath time with you. Nothing says fun like getting splashed repeatedly and having your toys squirt me in the eye. And when you’re done, feel free to poke at my belly button and giggle at my stretch marks.
- The candy is all gone. Except for the stash of Reese’s Minis I’ve cleverly hidden in the pantry. Those are definitely for me.
- Mommy’s going to bed too. Actually, I’ll be up for a few more hours tackling chores in the dark. If I leave the lights on, you’ll see and know that I’m not quite ready for bedtime yet.
- I don’t know where your favorite noisy toy is. It’s certainly not tucked away in the closet behind those boxes of clothes that no longer fit you—clothes I haven’t managed to donate yet.
- The TV has gone to sleep. Or maybe I discreetly turned it off because I couldn’t endure another episode of that show about feelings. It was too much honesty for one evening.
I can only imagine the explanations I’ll have to give when I meet St. Peter at the pearly gates. I wonder if he enjoys Reese’s…
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Summary:
This article humorously explores the common fibs parents tell their children, shedding light on the everyday realities of parenting while acknowledging the whimsical lies that often accompany childhood.