Certain moments are indelibly imprinted in my memory. January 28, 1986; when the space shuttle Challenger tragically exploded. A random autumn evening in 1987; the experience of my first genuine kiss. November 4, 2008; the historic day we elected our first African American President. And during a summer in 1995; the day I came to understand that my father was not infallible.
The timing of this realization varies for everyone, yet the emotions—shock, disappointment, confusion, and even resentment—are shared experiences. They converge in a moment of clarity, revealing that our parents are simply people, navigating the complexities of life while raising children.
From the moment we are born, our parents become our entire universe. They cradle our fragile bodies and cater to our every whim. In our eyes, Moms and Dads possess superhero-like qualities, answering our endless questions and managing the daily challenges of life. When these seemingly invincible figures display their human flaws, it can feel like a seismic shift in our reality.
My initial understanding that my dad was just an ordinary person left me feeling betrayed. I had believed he could accomplish anything and would never disappoint me. As I matured, I began to accept this truth, and now, as a parent myself, I appreciate him for it. Parenthood is a daunting journey; no amount of books or advice from friends can fully prepare one for the experience. It’s chaotic, exhausting, and the individuals who become parents do not shed their past baggage.
I strive to be transparent with my children. Perhaps because I’m a single mother, or perhaps as a means to soften the impact of future disappointments, I want them to know me beyond my role as their parent. The more they understand who I am as a person, the less daunting my shortcomings may seem to them.
I am a friend, sister, daughter, partner, writer, yogi, and runner. I enjoy laughter, good food, and lazy weekends. I love to bake and organize, but I can get cranky when I’m hungry or if my partner is late. I have aspirations yet to achieve and places still to explore. Above all, I cherish my role as their mother, which is my greatest joy.
While being a mom is my favorite title, I am ultimately just a person—a person with two kids. The sooner they grasp this reality, the better.
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In summary, the realization that parents are human can be both jarring and liberating. Understanding this truth fosters a more authentic relationship between parents and children, paving the way for open communication and mutual respect.