If I could do it all over again, I would not have chosen to become a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). There, I said it.
Let me clarify; when I made the decision 13 years ago to stay at home with my first child, it felt right for our family. We were young, just starting out, and it made financial sense for me to focus on the home front while my partner worked. After years in a demanding career, I welcomed the opportunity to slow down and embrace the daily joys of motherhood.
I left behind a rewarding career, and initially, it felt like the right choice. I spent numerous days immersed in the complexities of motherhood, juggling diapers, bottles, and tantrums. For a long while, I derived satisfaction from being a mom, content to ignore the nagging feeling that perhaps stepping away from my career was a mistake. I managed to suppress that inner voice until recently.
Now, with my children aged 10 and 13, they require less of my time and attention. Mornings are quieter after the kids leave for school, and I find myself searching for ways to fill my day. After some adjustment when my daughter started full-time schooling, I began to balance a few freelance projects while still being available for my family’s needs. I felt I was achieving a blend of both worlds, but the desire to revive my professional life has become increasingly insistent.
As I glance at the unwashed dishes and the laundry piling up, I can’t help but ask myself, When is it my turn? I feel anger and frustration that my responsibilities as a mom are weighing me down. I am frustrated with myself for being so dedicated to my family that even small delays in chores are noticeable. I feel like I’m battling the laundry machine instead of pursuing my aspirations. It’s time for a change; I’m ready to reclaim my identity and focus on my professional ambitions. My children are old enough to take on some responsibilities, and it’s okay if meals are less elaborate or if there’s a bit of dust on the furniture.
So, when do I get to step away from my SAHM role and leap back into my career? The time is now. And I refuse to apologize for it.
For thirteen years, I have devoted myself to my family. Now, I am finally ready to revive my career and breathe new life into my professional goals. I won’t feel guilty for wanting to shift my focus from being solely a mom to embracing my identity as a woman preparing for the next phase of life as my children approach college. Just as I adjusted when my youngest started school, I must now prepare for the exciting opportunity that lies ahead.
I will have the freedom to make choices for my career without the constraints of carpooling or school events. I will be able to put in long hours on projects that fulfill my creative side and connect with my husband over drinks, sharing stories that extend beyond our children. While I cherish the moments I’ve spent with my kids, I still ponder how I so easily set aside my career. It’s clear to me now that any professional endeavors I undertake will be deeply meaningful, shaped by the challenges of returning to the workforce.
I was once a woman with a flourishing career and ambitions. I will always be a mother, but soon, I will also reclaim my true self. And I can’t wait for that moment.
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Summary
This article reflects on a mother’s journey from a fulfilling career to staying at home, eventually realizing the desire to re-enter the workforce. As her children grow more independent, she embraces the opportunity to pursue her professional dreams without guilt. With a renewed focus on her identity beyond motherhood, she looks forward to reclaiming her career and the fulfillment it brings.